MEV Shares Her Letter ” A Beautiful Journey”

    "A Beautiful Journey" is a letter which I have typed out that my favorite shelter worker wrote me this morning, on my final day living at this women’s' shelter. It is words that can help us all. Enjoy My dear MEV, Your journey is the journey of a beautiful woman who inspired and gives compassion and ideals. I admire your strength even when you carry burdens and hardships. I admire your commitment to make things right and your ability to move forward and round up energy, even where Read more [...]

Are You a Soft Target for Manipulators? Take the test.

      Are You a Soft Target for Manipulators? Take the test to see and if you are, learn what you need to work on so you will no longer be a soft target for a manipulator. Read each statement below. If the statement is true or mostly True for you, circle T; if it is false or mostly false, circle F. Be Sure to circle either T or F for every item. No fence-sitting. Who’s Pulling Your Strings? T F   1. I should always try to please other people and make them happy. T F Read more [...]

Guidelines to Follow if Still Have to Be In Contact with Your Abuser

  Here are some guidelines to follow if still have to be in contact with your abuser.    - Tell the abuser that you will not accept the statements that define you and list examples. - Tell your abuser that you will video all meetings. Then keep a video camera with you. - Limit contact with the abuser. - Say "What did you say?" if you do hear verbal abuse - Be prepared to leave the presence of the abuser if you are abused - Hang up the phone if you are abused. - Try to keep any Read more [...]

ABSOLUTE rule of NO CONTACT! When Leaving an Abusive Relationship

    Exposing ourselves to our ex pathological leaves us WIDE open to be sucked in again. Remember they have the ability to hypnotize us and place us in a trance-like state VERY quickly. Confronting our ex-pathological leaves us wide open for re-victimization. Psychopaths absolutely HATE to be exposed face to face. Confronting our ex-pathologicals puts us in danger of severe wrath and retribution at the hand of someone who has absolutely no empathy for anyone and who is prone to rages Read more [...]

Encouraging Thoughts to Help Improve Your Self-Esteem

    Encouraging Thoughts to Help Improve Your Self-Esteem  Thoughts that inspire exploration and reflection (again, compliments to my beautiful therapist) Happiness can be defined in many ways, but what IS it that gives us this wonderful sensation that emanates from deep within ourselves? The answer comes from deep within. Self Esteem or Self Respect is not given to use through praise, gifts or attention. It’s about ourselves learning how to do things for ourselves, how to be responsible Read more [...]

NARCISSISTIC TRAITS

  NARCISSISTIC TRAITS   Turns every conversation to him/her expects you to meet his/her emotional needs Ignores the impact of his/her negative comments on you Constantly criticizes or berates you and knows what is best for you Focus on blaming rather than taking responsibility for their own behavior Expect you to jump at their every need Is overly involved with their own hobbies, interests or addictions ignoring your needs Has high need for attention: Brags, sulks, complains, Read more [...]

Did They Choose to Abuse? Ask Yourself Two Questions

    It is important to point out that labeling my ex's behavior as the result of a disorder awards him too much sympathy and leniency. He, and all other narcissists (N's) or Borderlines (BPD's) and sociopaths, know exactly what they are doing. While their inclinations are driven by a tragic psychological disorder, their actions are chosen. They choose to abuse! Plain and simple. If you're not sure about this and want to believe that their behavior is beyond their control, ask yourself Read more [...]