So Much Free Time! What Now?

After your divorce, you are probably finding yourself with a lot more free time on your hands, and nothing to fill it with. Hours spent with your spouse doing things, going places, and socializing with common friends are now yours to do what you want with them. Periods where you used to take care of conjugal affairs and obligations is now all yours. The issue is that you used to spend part of your day just being with your ex, and another part of the day doing things together, going out, and so Read more [...]

To Marry or Not to Marry- the Dilemma of Love and Marriage After Divorce

Many people who undergo a divorce take a significant amount of time to come out of the trauma. The question of dating and love does not feature on their list of priorities at all. However, with work time is a great healer and you can overcome the shock and trauma of the divorce. Then be able to embrace the happiness that love and romance can bring into a life. However, if infidelity was the cause of the divorce, it may take a little longer for a person to be able to trust a person and fall in Read more [...]

A Little Motivation for 2014

    My, my it’s 2014. A New Year. Another opportunity to start again. It’s funny, because I distinctly remember a discussion with my ex after a horribly bad patch in our relationship. It centered on trying to start again, because we both knew it was impossible to start over. I think about that discussion almost every New Year because now that I am divorced, I think of this time of year as MY personal opportunity to start again. I have a fresh canvas and new colors in my life’s Read more [...]

Time to Make New Holiday Traditions After Divorce

    The first holiday season after divorce can be quite hard because it may mean it’s the first holiday you’ve spent alone. Many families have holiday traditions, and if you’re family is newly separated or divorced it can be difficult to figure out the new holiday traditions after divorce. Whether the tradition was ordering Chinese takeout on Thanksgiving, or opening presents in new Christmas pajamas-you’re lost as to what to do now that you’re alone for the holidays.   There Read more [...]

Divorce is an Opportunity to Discover Who You Want to Be

        In the years after my divorce, while hanging on (barely) to my sanity, to my precious and drastically reduced income and to my children and job, I recognized a fork in the road about myself. I could copy myself to recreate the previous 24 years, or I could explore new challenges.  Divorce is an Opportunity to Discover Who You Want to Be! I was amazed how closed my church world was to these new ideas and how open my new apartment neighbors were. I had eye-opening Read more [...]

New Friends Can be Like a Window

    Mookie’s condo was #219, directly across the hall from mine. She had bought it a year earlier, shortly after her husband, her soul mate, had died. There was a quarter of a century between Mookie and me, but we became best friends, sharing wine and dating stories nearly every day. I suppressed a covetous smirk as I looked into Mookie’s condo that first September afternoon. As I walked through her door, my eyes went directly through the living room and then out over the ocean. Read more [...]

My Condo / Myself

        Much about my understanding my divorce was embodied in my bed in condo by the ocean. It was a queen-sized bed. At the time I bought it, I thought that a king-sized bed would have been too much money for my recently reduced budget. It was bigger than the 1/2 of the king-sized bed that had been my share for years, I consoled myself. I did not have to share this bed, which made my actual queen-sized bed-space larger than I was used to. I didn’t have to make sure Read more [...]

I’m One Selfish Mother … (Part 2 of 2)

  By Gretchen Schiller Link to “One Selfish Mother” – PART 1 of 2 Excerpt from PART 1: Last year Mother’s Day was hands down the worst day of my life since my divorce. I felt like a single mother, in an entirely new way…I hated that my tiny apartment rivaled playhouses of wealthy children in the area. I hated my lame-ass Dollar Store paper towels. I hated sharing my bedroom with a 3-year-old. I hated my new life…Charles was away on vacation, my ex-in-laws were out-of-town and Read more [...]

I’m One Selfish Mother… (Part 1 of 2)

  By Gretchen Schiller PART 1  of a  2-Part Series: I’m One Selfish Mother… Have you ever wanted to do the right thing but you just can’t? Heart twisting, turning, wanting to do the right thing, but you just can’t? I. Just. Can’t. The initial blog piece I wrote a few days ago encouraged everyone out there to find a single mother among friends or colleague at work and take 20 seconds to say, “Happy Mother’s Day!!” Because, chances are, she may not hear it from anyone Read more [...]

Brace Yourself. Permission to speak?

  By Gretchen Schiller Right now you and I are hanging out in my apartment. Welcome! It’s nighttime. We are lounging lazily in our cozy pjs on my super soft, olive loveseat. Our backs are nestled into the corners, leaning into the security of the big armrests. Our feet are on the center cushion, mine on the left, yours on the right. Did you just get a pedicure? Your feet look so cute! Love that color. We sit up for a bit to stuff our faces with pizza. Man, I love pizza. With full bellies Read more [...]