Guidelines to Follow if Still Have to Be In Contact with Your Abuser

  Here are some guidelines to follow if still have to be in contact with your abuser.    - Tell the abuser that you will not accept the statements that define you and list examples. - Tell your abuser that you will video all meetings. Then keep a video camera with you. - Limit contact with the abuser. - Say "What did you say?" if you do hear verbal abuse - Be prepared to leave the presence of the abuser if you are abused - Hang up the phone if you are abused. - Try to keep any Read more [...]

Genetic Despair: Depression and Me

  By Noah Brand editor-in-chief of The Good Men Project   Noah Brand never felt depressed. He just was.   This is the fourth in a series of essays on depression by some of the Good Men Project’s most valued voices. The first three parts are here, here, and here.   One cold morning in the early 1930s a Kansas farmer waded out into the middle of a creek on his property, put a gun to his head, and killed himself. He left behind a family, including a teenage boy who I Read more [...]

Help in the Fight to End Domestic Violence

One year ago I had the idea to collect stories from survivors of domestic violence and put them into a book. The focus of this project is not to make money, but to make a difference in a fight that is so near and dear to my heart. Being a clinician who has done a large amount of group work, one thing I have found to be amazingly true is that we learn more from other people who have been through the same thing than “experts.” That is a major reason that I wanted to do the project, but there Read more [...]

Why Men (or Women) Don’t Approach You

    This list was created for many common mistakes people make at clubs. Unless you work there, being at a club or bar, you will find only about 5% of the time a person could approach you. The other 95% is everywhere else in your life. Try to incorporate these ideas into your everyday life, you will be surprised how many new people you meet. Surrounded by people of your same sex: This is the most common reason I have heard from men as to why they don’t approach women in bars or clubs. Read more [...]

The Secret to Long Term Love! Watch, and Share.

  We have the answer to creating a long term love relationship! If you're ready, watch, think, act...make this your reality.       Hi I am David Essel, M.S. the Author 7 books and counting, National Radio and Television Host, Master Life and Business Coach, Adjunct Professor, All Faiths Minister, Addiction Recovery Coach and International Speaker. My mission is to inspire others to reach their own exceptional potential in their business and personal life. The 100% purely Read more [...]

What to Wear?????

    While preparing for any date, one important task is deciding what to wear. Of course, you should dress appropriately for the activity in a dignified manner. Something many people don’t consider is keeping track of what they wore and when. You may think I’m being silly right now. How would you feel if this happened to? During the fifth date, you realize the shirt you are wearing was worn on the first and third date with them. They might wonder if you own any other clothes! To Read more [...]

Answers to my Question “What is a Soul Mate?”

  “People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and make you look deep inside.”     Your life is a puzzle and a soul mate is the piece to the puzzle that make Read more [...]

Talk given to the Better than Ever After Divorce Community

  I posted my Talk given to the Better than Ever After Divorce Community before, but learned the link did not work.  As such I got a copy of the mp3 from the organization that hosted the talk and I up loaded directly to the site and undated the post. This is a recording of a talk I was asked to give to an international audience for Better than Ever After Divorce.  Dee Adio-Moses asked me to talk on the topic after interviewing me about my book on her radio show.  Some of the topics Read more [...]

Rejection, part two

  By Noah Brand editor-in-chief of the Good Men Project As pointed out in the comments to part one, my first post about the rejections inherent in the men-approach-women-wait model was focused entirely on how bad it hurts for men to suffer the inevitable multiple rejections inherent in that model. That’s true, and it’s part of why it was titled “part one”. A word to my fellow men: fellas, as we get together over our cigars and brandy in the billiard room, let us take a moment away Read more [...]

Late Night Call May be Reaching Out for Help or Something Else

      There are few topics I’m reticent to dip into because of the enormity of them. This is one such and if this tip is relevant to you, please seek further advice and assistance, it is not something you need to deal with on your own. The divorce is over and you get a late night call from your ex saying, “I can’t live without you. You can’t do this to me, I’ll kill myself.” Where on earth do you go from here? Threatened self-harm or suicide is indeed a cry for Read more [...]