Keep the Kids OUT Of Your Relationship with Your Ex

Children can often get thrown in into a veritable parental feud that leaves them unhappy and conflicted. So, how to leave your kids out of your after divorce life? That is a good question, one which many people avoid seeking the answer because they are too rooted in their pain from regarding things their ex did or said to them. Children are often the silent witness to the feud between you and your ex-spouse, and it should never be ok to subject them to your fights or lack of love for each other.  Read more [...]

Communication With Ease (even with your ex)!

  Have you ever asked yourself these questions concerning your ex, children, co-workers or even your boss? - Why did you do that? - What were you thinking? Trying to understand another person's behavior can be very stressful and frustrating.  The first step to help you deal with your frustration is to remember that everyone is unique. We all see the world from a different perspective. With that being said, would it be fair to say that if I understand you and you understand me, chances are Read more [...]

Who’s on first – Naughty or Nice? Five ways to make it easier to choose “Nice.”

    By Gretchen Schiller Abbott and Costello: Who’s on first. What’s on second. I don’t know is on third. Why’s in left field. Tomorrow’s the pitcher. Today’s the catcher. Naturally, Who’s on first. I don’t give a damn’s the shortstop. Co-parenting Team: Who’s at mom’s home? Who’s at dad’s home? What’s the plan? I don’t know if we will all be together Christmas day. Why’s this so complicated? Tomorrow will be easier. (Wel-l-l-l. Let’s make that next Read more [...]

Co-Parenting a Child with Someone who Suffers From a Personality Disorder; Here are a few Things to Consider

      Co-parenting - Co-parenting (or Co-parenting) means sharing physical or legal custody of a child when you are separated or divorced. Here are a few things to consider when you are Co-parenting a child with someone who suffers from a personality disorder. Personal Safety - Personal Safety is a list of actions that are designed to keep situations from escalating and to make sure that Physical, Emotional and Verbal abuse is avoided or stopped at the first moment it begins Read more [...]

Don’t Get Stuck Being Adversaries After Your Divorce

  I processed through my divorce while I was getting the divorce. It was a time for growing, understanding and accepting what was happening to me and my family. You must be able to view your situation from a positive perspective. I kept trying to find the silver lining. I know God has a plan, and I need to be open to follow his plan. I started watching for “God Winks” and let them guide me. This also helped me become more positive and not feel so alone. Set out on a path to healing and growth Read more [...]

STOPPING Your Ex from Getting you to Feel Guilty is Easy as 1, 2, and 3!

  Guilt might interfere more than any other emotion with our efforts to heal and find peace.     Many times I hear people say “My ex makes me feel so guilty when they say…” This attitude is detrimental to you and your well-being, as you eventually start feeling depressed and powerless. Here are three tips to deal with guilt: Change your language NO-ONE—I mean NO-ONE can make you feeling anything unless you allow the feeling to be real for you. Every time you say, “My ex Read more [...]

Try This Today: Call me! Text me!

By Gretchen Schiller originally posted in Try this Today Series. Everyday application for healthy co-parenting In earlier posts, I mentioned how I’m working hard toward making the daily choice to try to strengthen the bond between Ana Lu and her dad instead of allowing the toxic poison from the divorce to seep into her innocent life. So I’m going to try this today. Maybe you can too. Call me! Text me! You know you love to share your child’s pictures. Cell phones Read more [...]

After a Divorce History Sometimes Changes

    Just like everyone else, my ex-husband has his view of our past, and I have mine. They are probably two totally different memories. After a Divorce History Sometimes Changes.  I’m sure his new significant other doesn’t really know the type of person I am. This became evident to me the first time I met her. I moved out of state about a year earlier. My daughter and my two grandchildren moved with me while my two sons and grandson stayed close to my ex-husband. All of my children Read more [...]

Share the Little Things

It was Halloween night, and I asked a friend what his children were going to be this year. I saw sadness come over his face, and he said that he did not know. He had called his ex to talk to the kids and ask about seeing them, but there never was an answer to his calls or messages. His ex refuses to share the little things in his children's lives. Why do people withhold this from their ex? I did in the past until I realized the children need to know that the other parent or grandparent are still Read more [...]