“I Miss My Daddy!” In the Wake of Divorce

By Gretchen Schiller | originally posted in Sassy Single Mom Jul 1, 2012 | “I sad you and Daddy no same house. I want cry. I so sad. I want cry, Mommy. But I can’t. I weally-weally want cry. I try. I try but I can’t. But I weally want to.” ~Ana Lu (Ana Lu said this twice in a five day span.) Last summer Ana Lu and I were at the park with her mini-soul mate, Matthew. It was one of those rare days when they were both super grouchy with one other.  They were so salty. The goofballs Read more [...]

Favoritism/Special Treatment

  Several moms/dads are upset because they are dealing with this unfortunate situation. This is a difficult obstacle to tackle because there may be numerous reasons why mom/dad may be showing favoritism. Guilt and feelings of loss can cause a parent to engage in favoritism without being aware of it. They try to make the most of their little bit of time with their child/ren pleasant and memorable that they fail to realize they are creating an unbalanced situation with all of the children involved. Read more [...]

The Peaceful Pretzels

    By Gretchen Schiller “POUNDER of MINI PRETZELS!” The over-sized bag screams at me while I hurry down the chip aisle in the supermarket. Ugh, nothing smaller? I scan the other bags of pretzels, to the right, to the left, and see that half of them scream “POUNDER!” and the other half with a more modest label – “16oz” – for the same ginormous bag of pretzels. This is far too many pretzels for just Ana Lu and me. Yet Ana Lu likes to have a few pretzels in her lunchbox Read more [...]

The Lighter Side of Divorce

At DivorcedandScaredNoMore.com, we have often discussed the perils of divorce and the impact it can have on your life. The effects can be so serious; it can leave you with long-lasting effects that you will permanently change you. However, not everything has to be fatal and final – with a more positive outlook, and some perspective, it can be easier to laugh your way through life after divorce rather than cry! Rather than remembering “that” time of year as the day the fat lady stopped singing Read more [...]

Keep the Kids OUT Of Your Relationship with Your Ex

Children can often get thrown in into a veritable parental feud that leaves them unhappy and conflicted. So, how to leave your kids out of your after divorce life? That is a good question, one which many people avoid seeking the answer because they are too rooted in their pain from regarding things their ex did or said to them. Children are often the silent witness to the feud between you and your ex-spouse, and it should never be ok to subject them to your fights or lack of love for each other.  Read more [...]

Three Important Rules of Etiquette for after Divorce

  Of course, going through a divorce is never easy at all. The knowledge that the person you once loved has officially left your life can be hard to deal with. The finality of divorce is hard to take, especially when adultery is involved. The hurt and betrayal can easily turn post-divorce life into a constant back and forth trying to “get even” with one another. Unless you decide to follow some important rules of etiquette. While your ex is somebody who deserves no more of your time.  Read more [...]

Spring Cleaning for the Soul

  With it being spring time, we begin to think about tasks around the home we have put off all winter: cleaning out the garage, washing the windows, and the like.  What we don't commonly think about is taking time to clean the clutter we have accumulated within ourselves over the previous year.  Just as spring ushers in the rebirth of flowers and new life in nature, so too can we usher in new health and a rebirth of purpose. Spring is the perfect season to take the time to evaluate those Read more [...]

Gifts for Daddy

  By Gretchen Schiller For all of us moms, married or divorced, Christmas is only two weeks away. (Yikes!) It’s time to start getting our children excited about buying gifts for their dad. Stocking stuffers are especially fun to buy because…well…they’re cheap! We can buy a bunch of ‘em without breaking the bank. Let’s brainstorm gift ideas that our children and their dad can enjoy together. Almost everything on the list below is $1. Every mom knows the Target Dollar Section Read more [...]

50/50 Coin Toss Healthy Co-Parenting

  By Gretchen Schiller “Daddy!” Ana Lu squealed a nanosecond after walking into our apartment as she looked straight ahead, seeing our mini-Christmas tree, one ornament hung up on it, her favorite. She made a beeline directly for the tree and reached her little hand out, running her fingers over the ornament. A grin crossed my face. I knew that was the perfect place to hang it, I thought. Feeling completely content with a hint of smug. A round ceramic ornament with a photo of Charles Read more [...]

Meeting the Children For the First Time?

        So, you're in a relationship with someone who has children. You have been with them for a while and things are starting to get serious. They feel comfortable enough with you to introduce you to their kids. You're excited but nervous because now you're about to be judged by the most important people in his life, and they are children! You want to make a good impression but where do you begin?   When I met my stepson for the first time I was a nervous wreck. I wanted Read more [...]