Be Grateful Your Audience is Smaller

    If you think you are having a rough time of it with your divorce, be glad you’re not a celebrity. Their high profile ding dongs play out in front of audiences of millions of adoring fans and invariably, the media will favor one side of the partnership. The ‘bad guy’ will be hung, drawn and quartered in front of their friends, family and those who appreciate their acting/music/writing etc. You can almost guarantee that whatever spin is being put on their story, it’s a world away Read more [...]

Dig Back Into Your Past and Remember

  When we advance in our years and suddenly feel the pressures of life, the universe and everything bearing down upon our shoulders, it’s easy to forget the people we used to be. This is particularly true as you recover from being scalded by the embers of a marriage that was going nowhere. The fact is, if you are able to reconnect with the soul you once were, you might also be able to tap into a pocket of the energy that used to drive and thrill you. Dig back in your dim and distant past Read more [...]

Recount Out Loud the Highlights of Your Relationship

  I was tapped on the shoulder by a wonderful old friend today who I’ve not seen in two years and we stood in the middle of Waitrose clucking like a pair of ducks catching up with each other’s news in digest.   I relayed my divorce news in bite-sized chunks and found myself bullet pointing that old relationship. It was enlightening - for me - and I want to direct this Tip of the Day to anyone on the lead up to leaving, or anyone who has been treated badly and is now in the devastatingly Read more [...]

You Are Not A Loser

By Noah Brand Seriously, you’re not a loser. Noah Brand explains why. As boys, we get told that there are winners and losers in this world, and it’s important to make sure you’re a winner. As men, we discover that that’s impossible. There’s always some metric by which we’re inadequate, always some ideal we’ve failed to meet. And so the labels of “loser” and “failure” creep in, become the nouns we define ourselves by. Inevitably, once those words become nouns, they begin poisoning Read more [...]

NARCISSISTIC TRAITS

  NARCISSISTIC TRAITS   Turns every conversation to him/her expects you to meet his/her emotional needs Ignores the impact of his/her negative comments on you Constantly criticizes or berates you and knows what is best for you Focus on blaming rather than taking responsibility for their own behavior Expect you to jump at their every need Is overly involved with their own hobbies, interests or addictions ignoring your needs Has high need for attention: Brags, sulks, complains, Read more [...]

Sending a Card (or Not) on Behalf of Your Children

    Last week, I talked about mentally preparing yourself for Father’s Day. Well, here it is, are you ready? Are you ready for the guilty/inadequate feelings you may endure for sending a card on behalf of your children/not sending a card on behalf of your children/not receiving a card and questioning your very existence/encouraging them to send one and failing/coping with a difficult conversation with children regarding sending one to a step-parent/getting a card and questioning Read more [...]

Divorce Coping Tip of the Day – Move On

      Its always hard to move on if your just getting divorced or coming out of a long term relationship,but yet the need that you crave to move on and leave that relationship that is not healthy for you is overwhelming. You struggle within yourself of so many feelings. But  you know you gotta do it for yourself to be happy again within  oneself. No matter how hard it is you will have to dig deep within yourself to move on with your life,and don't ever feel guilty about it Read more [...]

Problems Appearing Bigger Than They Actually Are

    If you have a growing mass of problems to solve and they’re stressing you out, sit down with a piece of paper, a pen, a phone and a cup of tea. Problems are like shadows, often appearing bigger than they actually are when they’re rolling around in your head. Start by writing down what you consider are the biggest issues you need to deal with right now and draw an encompassing circle around them. Move on through the other problems and do the same, listing them all as they fall Read more [...]

Helping the Children Get Back to School

          If you have children, you’re no doubt up to your ears in the summer holidays, or as I occasionally call it, the childcare marathon! If you and your ex split over the summer and are in the early days of sorting out new living accommodation, you will do well to drop the head of year and form tutor for your child a note to explain what’s occurred before they head back to school in September. It’s very likely they will be picking up email through the holiday Read more [...]

Dragging A Drunk Husband Home

      by Gint Aras     When married couples make scenes in public, the rest of us are left pondering.     Last weekend I was seated in the patio of a Vilnius café with some friends. It was rather early on a pleasant evening, not yet eight o’clock. This café is frequented by a large variety of people, young and old, locals and tourists, some well dressed, others unbathed bohemians. You can eat a good, modestly priced dinner there, or you can order a Read more [...]