Help Boost Your Mood When you Feel a Little Down

      During my healing process too often I find myself sad, tense, worried, or just plain filled with the bad wave of healing. I don’t enjoy feeling that way at all.  Need Help Boost Your Mood When you Feel a Little Down.  Here are some of my personally tested tricks to pull me out of that sad place and back to the positive waves of healing. 1. Look around you, “It could be worse.” You may be sad that you are alone but think about the person that is alone and homeless. Read more [...]

Talk given to the Better than Ever After Divorce Community

  I posted my Talk given to the Better than Ever After Divorce Community before, but learned the link did not work.  As such I got a copy of the mp3 from the organization that hosted the talk and I up loaded directly to the site and undated the post. This is a recording of a talk I was asked to give to an international audience for Better than Ever After Divorce.  Dee Adio-Moses asked me to talk on the topic after interviewing me about my book on her radio show.  Some of the topics Read more [...]

A Success Story: – Infidelity – I Didn’t Let His Affair Destroy Me

“There are all kinds of ways for a relationship to be tested, even broken, some, irrevocably; it’s the endings we’re unprepared for.” ― Katherine Owen, Not To Us About two years ago, I thought my life was falling apart. After the death of one of my parents, I found out my husband was having an affair and he walked out on my son and me at the weakest moment in my life. I sat in my house with my son who was a toddler, and didn’t understand what I did to deserve to lose my father and the Read more [...]

Two’s Company, Three’s a Crowd: Avoiding Triangulation in Your Future Relationships

  Abusive relationships leave our self-esteem debilitated. People who have experienced abuse in their previous relationships have become paralyzed with fear-- fear of not being able to love again, fear of not being loved again and that fear of experiencing failure in their future relationships. You may currently be healing from abuse, and you think that it may still be too early to enter into a new relationship, and you are right. However, there is nothing too early about learning and understanding Read more [...]

Plan a Trip to an Art Gallery

      One of my favorite views of a sunflower is during her dying days, when the leaves have all shriveled up and the seeds are prominent and ready for harvest. I revel in this moribund phase further whenever I see Van Gogh’s oil on canvas of a dozen sunflowers. Art can be incredibly distracting if you’re in the right mood and are willing to let your mind wander. It can also offer temporary relief to a torrid situation. Plan a trip to an art gallery - a great many are still Read more [...]

Two Wild Dogs Fighting and Title of My Books…

      People often ask me where the titles of the three "Dogs" books comes from, and I tell them that a few weeks after I was served with papers by the sheriff, a close friend of mine, someone who had gone through his own train-wreck of a divorce, handed me this story, and It became a guiding light for me, even after the divorce times were behind me. "The old Indian chief was teaching wisdom to his young grandson as they sat together on the mesa beneath the starry night sky. He explained Read more [...]

What Counts as Cheating?

        Cheating is difficult to define.  In a really broad sense, cheating includes betraying a partner's expectations about the type of contact allowed with others. When a partner, breaks one's expectations about exactly what is appropriate, individuals feel betrayed. Relationships are not based on logic; however, they are influenced by our feelings. Cheating is complex because the meaning varies so extremely. However, when someone violates a partner's expectations, the Read more [...]

FEELING STUCK?

    Feeling Stuck? Fresh out of ideas…can’t move forward…zero energy…all is blah… We feel stuck in the muck…can’t move…ugh! We may feel stuck…but the world…the universe…is in constant motion…and, even if we can’t feel it…we’re along for the ride and in motion too… This moment is not exactly like the moment before…the earth has rotated…ever so slightly…we’ve breathed a new breath…a new exchange of oxygen and carbon dioxide…a breeze ruffles the Read more [...]

Taking Out Your Frustrations in the Water

        If you are struggling to cope with the general angst and belly ache of divorce, consider taking out your frustrations in the water. Your local swimming pool is a fabulous place to wash that person right out of your hair and to do something calm, healthy and meditative too. A good handful of simple lengths done at a gentle pace can be incredibly satisfying, particularly when you don’t set yourself a time goal. Let’s face it, there are enough other deadlines Read more [...]

Projection: Your Partner is Not a Mirror

    Projection in relationships is one of the most common reasons of abusive relationships. This is a defense mechanism of most people that they are not aware of. Projection is what other people do in order to manage and cope with their feelings. Psychological projection is about projecting your undesirable feelings to someone else instead of dealing with it yourself. When this is done in a relationship, it becomes an abusive one. When Projection becomes Abusive This abusive behavior Read more [...]