Guidelines to Follow if Still Have to Be In Contact with Your Abuser

  Here are some guidelines to follow if still have to be in contact with your abuser.    - Tell the abuser that you will not accept the statements that define you and list examples. - Tell your abuser that you will video all meetings. Then keep a video camera with you. - Limit contact with the abuser. - Say "What did you say?" if you do hear verbal abuse - Be prepared to leave the presence of the abuser if you are abused - Hang up the phone if you are abused. - Try to keep any Read more [...]

Ex Insults Your Sexual Performance

  If your ex lashed out with insults about your sexual performance or pleasing ability, throw that thought out with your next bag of trash. It is likely to be as off kilter as the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Insults that cut below the belt have a clever way of niggling away at your very core, but their vitriol is likely to have been fuelled by the stuff that powers them; bilious spite. The truth is, if your existence has descended to this level of horror, there is only one way it can go, back Read more [...]

What to Do during the Holiday Season

"Research data show that loneliness is a killer. Even bigger than cigarettes. If the thought of holidays without your ex evokes emptiness and sadness for you, know that you don't have to stay in that state and suffer. Our emotional state is largely influenced by our perception and actions. You don't have to be helpless. Think about some of the practical advice below. The following remarks written by Tasher will help you put things into perspective." Latica Mirjanic, MA Psych, Upper deck self Read more [...]

They are Divorcing YOU?

    You left your spouse for a list of unpleasant behaviors and then before you had the time to draw breath, you found a letter on the doormat from a solicitor saying they are divorcing you. Well, if you can step away from the anguish of the inequity that is undoubtedly woven into the situation, you’ll do yourself a favor. Anybody that files for divorce has to write a godforsaken paragraph of reasons why this is the case and your ex may well have taken lyrical liberties with the freedom Read more [...]

Concentrate on Actual Things in YOUR Life

It’s easy to occupy your mind with worry about possible rumors you think your ex may be spreading about you, as they flail around like a lost salmon looking for new ways to rack you off. The physical and emotional energy required to fight those invisible ghosts, is probably more than you can spare right now. Concentrate on actual things in YOUR life, worry not about potentials and keep holding onto the fact that the madness will not last forever.   You will heal and when you do the things Read more [...]

Start a Group for Like-Minded Souls?

  For some, walking a solitary path to healing from a divorce, is the way forward. For others, sharing their experience and empathizing with others who are at sea in the same boat, is the way to go. If you feel you belong in the boat, it might be worth seeking out divorce recovery groups or workshops near you; there are lots and they seem to be quite a growing trend. A quick search on the Internet will bring up Divorce Care (US) and Divorce Recovery Workshop (UK) - there are undoubtedly Read more [...]

Additional Tips on Getting Over Your Ex

It can still be hard to bury all those memories and move on with your life even if you decided to end the relationship especially if they cheated on you. I have put together some Additional Tips on Getting Over Your Ex,  I have used to help me get past the loss of a relationship. Write it Down - When you have issues with your ex and you feel you must contact them now, DO NOT CALL or TEXT MESSAGE them at that moment. Instead, get a pen and paper and write it down (or type it on your computer) Read more [...]

Significant Dates Change Color

    After a divorce, previously significant dates change color and feel a little strange, mostly because you’re not sure how you are supposed to feel about them. That date stays on the calendar and comes around every year! The birthday of your ex is a good example. What do you do? Send a card, don’t send a card; to be honest, that’s an easy one to deal with by comparison to your wedding anniversary. Whether you spent a year together or three decades or more, that date signifies the Read more [...]

Do we Sacrifice Ourselves to Stay in a Relationship?

      Do we Sacrifice Ourselves to Stay in a Relationship?  Sacrifice is a word that most people are scared of. Sacrifice is called selflessness. Meaning you're willing place your partner's happiness above your own (LOVE). Of course, you're going to run across a person(s) that'll take advantage of it and/or not appreciate it, but those are the chances you take in relationships. It's all 50/50 whether or not it works out, but you can't stay sulking, and thinki...ng you feel like Read more [...]

It is Wise to Contact Your Insurance Company ASAP

  Car insurance is one of those strange anomalies that’s only likely to rear its renewable head once a year. If you are recently separated and were jointly insured for your vehicles, you’ll be wise to contact your insurance company or broker to make any necessary adjustments to the policies, as soon as possible. This is most especially relevant if your ex usually handled those affairs. You really don’t want to find out that they’ve removed you from a policy you thought was in place, Read more [...]