Distractions can be Incredibly Welcome

      The distractions that come with a gentle responsibility can be incredibly welcome when all your mind can focus on is the dreaded divorce. Have a look around your immediate vicinity to see if there’s anything you can get involved in that is gentle on your mind. Consider doing a minimal amount of volunteering in a charitable organization, or think about joining a reading group perhaps. These  distractions should be something that fits into a regular slot but isn’t Read more [...]

The Urge to Tell Your Ex Precisely What You Think of Them

  It can be incredibly difficult to resist the urge to tell your ex precisely what you think of them, particularly when they are behaving like a complete and utter tit. However, opening a line of futile dialogue is precisely that, futile and it may lead to a vat full of stress that you probably don’t need. How’s this for a cover solution; face paint, a nice thin brush and a private canvas, ie your forearm, tummy, thighs or elsewhere, could replace the spoken word and you can write whatever Read more [...]

Apply a Liberal Sprinkling of Patience

  Whether you’re 5 minutes past separation from your old spouse, knee-deep in divorce or 5 years the other side of your Decree Absolute, when it comes to dealing with an vexing ex, you’ll do well to apply a liberal sprinkling of patience.   Trouble is that’s far easier said than done.   There are limited things that enable aggravated patience levels to decrease; a dogged determination to rise above their pathetic behavior so they don’t bother you anymore and the simple Read more [...]

Enjoy the Cleansing Process of Reclaiming Your Space

  If you have a garden shed full of your ex-partner's tools and DIY equipment and they have no interest in removing them, it's worth exploring the less painful routes to ridding yourself of them and ceasing those constant, niggling reminders. Whatever you do, don't throw the items out with the rubbish! A little bit of internet research will uncover several charities who would benefit enormously from your generosity and would be delighted to take them off of your hands.  A great many of them Read more [...]

Divorce Coping Tip of the Day – Healing is Like the Tide Going Out to Sea

    Image courtesy of EA / FreeDigitalPhotos.net   "Healing is like the tide going out to sea. You are floating along, and everything is going good. Then something happens, and it pushes you back toward the shore, and the pain. This happens over, and over but finally you do make it out to sea, and your new happy life. " - Tasher     Would you like to support DASNM?  If so, it is easy, visit our store and make a purchase or use this link  Amazon Purchases in support Read more [...]

Silver Separation is on the Rise

    Splitting up in later years, or silver separation as it is more commonly known, seems to be a trend on the rise. Perhaps there’s a wave of modern, more self-assured and assertive souls who have realized their life does not have to roll to the bitter end, suffering in a bitter marriage. People who were super-busy ex-execs are often plunged into great periods with nothing to do, but collect their pension and spend it with their spouses. The trouble is, many realize they barely Read more [...]

Do We Embrace the Throw Away Attitude in Our Marriages?

            In the wake of a very high profile celebrity divorce case here in the UK, this morning I was asked to speak on a handful of mid-morning BBC radio stations on their case and the general topic of divorce and domestic abuse. I was asked several times whether people threw the towel in on their marriages quicker than had happened in the past. Prior to my research on the subject, I would have said that as a society (Western world anyway) we have embraced Read more [...]

Divorce Coping Tip of the Day – You Must Not Lay Blame for Their Actions on Your Shoulders

  We must take responsibility for our own actions and accept that we are not responsible for the behavior of others. Your ex walks their own path, just as you walk yours. You must not lay blame for their actions on your shoulders, even if you did leave them and, even if you didn't! Cut yourself some slack and understand this can be incredibly hard to do, particularly when they are behaving in a vile or out of character manner. We all have the power to curb negative responses to the actions Read more [...]

Finances and Divorce

    Every bureaucratic element of divorce has it’s sticky points, but I think working out a fair division of your joint finances is probably the worst, unless you have children that is, then it’s a whole new ball of wax. If you are in the midst of a relatively amicable separation / divorce and are planning to negotiate the financial agreement nicely, that’s amazing and all well and good. You won’t incur huge court costs or legal bills for solicitors who will be more than happy Read more [...]

Idiotic Words

    It’s bad enough when you have to endure the inane misery an ex’s idiotic words, be they written or spoken, but these can be made even more painful when other people roll around in them. When friends dissect their statements and make fun of them or pull them apart, it can invite you to revisit old hurt and you may find a fresh wave of tears burning a hot route down your cheek, as your buddies attempt to try and make you feel better. It is pain, however you cut it, and actually Read more [...]