A Divorce Party?

      There’s a growing trend in the US for a divorce party at some point after the divorce is final and they seem to be catching on and gathering strength in the UK too. Whilst I understand the significance of celebrating the fact that this unpredictable period is over, I’m not entirely sure I get wedding ring coffins and black iced cakes with plastic icons of dead grooms perched on the top, but it seems the commercial wheels still turn even for the most morose of life events. The Read more [...]

Want a Divorce but Unable to Agree

  If you live in the US, have separated from your spouse and want a divorce but are unable to agree on child and/or financial matters, you are standing on the edge of a contested divorce and probably drowning in questions about what happens next; here’s a brief summary of what can be an arduously long process. You meet with your attorney Your attorney serves the divorce petition Your soon-to-be ex responds to said petition You document all of your financial affairs and custody issues, Read more [...]

Indulge in a Little Nothingness

Occasionally, it’s all you can do to put one foot in front of the other and step forwards. The appeal in staring at the wall trying to make sense of it all is overwhelming and to be honest, it doesn’t hurt to indulge in a little nothingness every now and again. Anybody that says, ‘Ah, come on, pull yourself together, life’s too short’ and other irritating positives, hasn’t got a clue how deep your pain is. Sometimes, a pocket of silence, slowness or stillness is all that is required Read more [...]

No Magic Recipe for a Fast Fix

    Stress-busting can become an occupational hazard while you tread water through and after a turbulent divorce.   It can easily blow up and manifest into physical symptoms that leave you feeling utterly depleted, void of all confidence and unable to focus on the here and now.   I wish I could give you a magic recipe for a fast fix, unfortunately I cannot, but I can tell you that things don’t have to play out as a foregone conclusion.   You might think that you Read more [...]

Divorce Coping Tip of the Day – Sunrise is Another day Closer

  Find out what time the sun rises on TimeAndDate.com (http://www.timeanddate.com), pack some eye protection and plan a trip out to a local viewpoint to watch the start of a brand new day. Sunrise happens surprisingly quickly and if you've never taken the time to observe it before you might be surprised to see how speedily the Sun lifts from the horizon. At times,  it may felt as though your divorce moved like slow flowing lava, but take solace in the fact that YOU ARE “that Sun rising.” Read more [...]

Light Yourself up With Some Color

    Initially the repetitive daily drudge of divorce can make you feel as though you’re living your entire life in beige. If you feel you’ve embraced a little too much convention of late, perhaps it’s time to push the boundaries and light yourself up with some color. Changing clothes and hairstyles is radical and can be expensive, but it won’t break the bank buying 10 pots of nail varnish to paint your toes and fingers a multitude of shades. This booster isn’t restricted Read more [...]

Take a Little Alone Time

    It’s a bit of a wild assumption that nobody wants to be alone.   Actually, sometimes being alone is just the ticket, particularly after a period of undesirable noise and emotional turbulence.   Fight the pestering urges from well-meaning allies who want to invite you to every party on the block and rest in the peace and quiet of not having to make decisions about what to wear, what to say to potentially interested suitors or just sympathetic souls who think they Read more [...]

What to do With Things They Left Behind???

    If you have a garden shed full of your ex-partners tools and DIY equipment and they have no interest in removing them, it’s worth exploring the less painful routes to ridding yourself of them and ceasing those constant, niggling reminders. Whatever you do, don't throw the items out with the rubbish! ... A little bit of internet research will uncover several charities who would benefit enormously from your generosity and would be delighted to take them off of your hands. Read more [...]

Divorce Coping Tip of the Day – You are Worthy of Patience and Self-Love

Learn to love every inch of you, including any wrinkly, saggy, old, achy or well-worn bits. Collectively, they go to make up the whole that is you and you deserve love in the highest degree. This best starts with recalibrating the view we have of ourselves and loving who we are. Invest in a long, hot relaxing bath with some of your favorite aromatherapy oils in the water, lavender and rose geranium are soothing and healing. Add a little music and gentle lighting and wash your body slowly, don’t Read more [...]

Keep the Thoughts in Your Head

  If you reach the point where you wish your ex were dead, you really need to step back from the plate and find some clarity and sense in the layers of that morbid thought.   There’s thinking it, there’s saying it out loud to yourself, there’s telling someone else and there’s telling the ex.   The elevation from the primary to the latter is quite a jump and the last two might get you into all sorts of trouble if, by some incredible twist of fate, they met an untimely end.   Yelling, Read more [...]