Talk given to the Better than Ever After Divorce Community

  I posted my Talk given to the Better than Ever After Divorce Community before, but learned the link did not work.  As such I got a copy of the mp3 from the organization that hosted the talk and I up loaded directly to the site and undated the post. This is a recording of a talk I was asked to give to an international audience for Better than Ever After Divorce.  Dee Adio-Moses asked me to talk on the topic after interviewing me about my book on her radio show.  Some of the topics Read more [...]

Two’s Company, Three’s a Crowd: Avoiding Triangulation in Your Future Relationships

  Abusive relationships leave our self-esteem debilitated. People who have experienced abuse in their previous relationships have become paralyzed with fear-- fear of not being able to love again, fear of not being loved again and that fear of experiencing failure in their future relationships. You may currently be healing from abuse, and you think that it may still be too early to enter into a new relationship, and you are right. However, there is nothing too early about learning and understanding Read more [...]

Projection: Your Partner is Not a Mirror

    Projection in relationships is one of the most common reasons of abusive relationships. This is a defense mechanism of most people that they are not aware of. Projection is what other people do in order to manage and cope with their feelings. Psychological projection is about projecting your undesirable feelings to someone else instead of dealing with it yourself. When this is done in a relationship, it becomes an abusive one. When Projection becomes Abusive This abusive behavior Read more [...]

NARCISSISTIC TRAITS

  NARCISSISTIC TRAITS   Turns every conversation to him/her expects you to meet his/her emotional needs Ignores the impact of his/her negative comments on you Constantly criticizes or berates you and knows what is best for you Focus on blaming rather than taking responsibility for their own behavior Expect you to jump at their every need Is overly involved with their own hobbies, interests or addictions ignoring your needs Has high need for attention: Brags, sulks, complains, Read more [...]

Did They Choose to Abuse? Ask Yourself Two Questions

    It is important to point out that labeling my ex's behavior as the result of a disorder awards him too much sympathy and leniency. He, and all other narcissists (N's) or Borderlines (BPD's) and sociopaths, know exactly what they are doing. While their inclinations are driven by a tragic psychological disorder, their actions are chosen. They choose to abuse! Plain and simple. If you're not sure about this and want to believe that their behavior is beyond their control, ask yourself Read more [...]

1 Through 20 Character Traits of a Narcissist

     Character Traits of a Narcissist   1. Self-centered. Their needs are paramount. 2. No remorse for mistakes or misdeeds. 3. Unreliable, undependable. 4. Does not care about the consequences of their actions. 5. Projects his/her faults on to others. High blaming behavior; never his/her fault. 6. Little if any conscience. 7. Insensitive to needs and feelings of others. 8. Has a good front (persona) to impress and exploit others. 9. Low stress tolerance. Easy to anger Read more [...]

Relationships – Domestic Violence

    When you are young everything revolves around relationships...your relationship with your family, your relationships with your friends and peers, and your romantic relationships.  As we age and grow into who we are as people it is natural for the focus to be less on relationships with others and more on the relationship we have with ourselves; however, even as adults that often isn't the case. In our society we put a lot of emphasis on romantic love.  We watch romantic comedies, Read more [...]

Survivors of Domestic Violence, Let Your Story Empower Others

  Stories of Survivors: Stories of those who have overcome abuse As many of you know I am a private practice clinician  an author, and a tv show host...what you may not know is that my greatest passion is connected to a fight against domestic violence and serve as the Executive Director of a domestic violence organization, Acts of Random Kindness (or ARK.) ARK is in the process of collecting stories of survivors of domestic violence in various stages of rebuilding their lives and recovering Read more [...]