Divorce Coping Tip of the Day – Numbness

  There is gonna be  times where you are gonna feel numbness within yourself ,  I know I do at times and lately I have been feeling that way a lot.. I struggle lately with the daily routine and all the changes I have had to go through this last year.. But there is one thing I  know is that I have learned so much about myself and I have also learned a lot about other's. I maybe dealing with some individual  issue's right now, like working at a job that I don't enjoy ,because of the negative Read more [...]

Assessing Emotional Maturity By, Justin Nutt, LMSW

    “Maturity of mind is the capacity to endure uncertainty.” - John Finley All too often emotional maturity is viewed as a given attribute that a person achieves based on their chronological age. But the truth is that young or old, 6 or 60, isn’t what defines the emotional maturity of a person. The maturity of a person isn’t something that magically is bestowed upon a person when they enter puberty, graduate high school, or turn 21, it is something that comes from within and Read more [...]

Learn from your mistakes, we are all HUMAN!

    Most people have a tendency to let their mistakes define them yet most experts say to embrace and learn from them. You may think the breakup was entirely your partner’s fault (which is not always the case, even when an extra-marital affair took place); but either way, there are still things to learn from the experience. In some cases, we punish ourselves for our partner’s mistakes by putting up walls around us so nobody can hurt us again. Before you use this tactic, ask yourself Read more [...]

1 Through 20 Character Traits of a Narcissist

     Character Traits of a Narcissist   1. Self-centered. Their needs are paramount. 2. No remorse for mistakes or misdeeds. 3. Unreliable, undependable. 4. Does not care about the consequences of their actions. 5. Projects his/her faults on to others. High blaming behavior; never his/her fault. 6. Little if any conscience. 7. Insensitive to needs and feelings of others. 8. Has a good front (persona) to impress and exploit others. 9. Low stress tolerance. Easy to anger Read more [...]

Patterns

  My separation happened about a year and a couple months ago. I can no longer remember the exact date that my wife told me she couldn't stay married to me any longer. It was a hell of a day with a long and argument filled build up. Followed by a long and argument filled time-frame while I was looking for a new place to live. Without going too much into it I can tell you that our situation was fairly typical in many ways. We weren’t satisfied, she started going out more and more. She Read more [...]

A Mans Perspective on Patterns

  My separation happened about a year and a couple months ago. I can no longer remember the exact date that my wife told me she couldn't stay married to me any longer. It was a hell of a day with a long and argument filled build up. Followed by a long and argument filled time-frame while I was looking for a new place to live. Without going too much into it I can tell you that our situation was fairly typical in many ways. We weren’t satisfied, she started going out more and more. She met Read more [...]

Sign Posts on the Journey Part I

    The following is an excerpt from a chapter in "The Dogs of Luck" by William Kenly. It describes the evolution of psychological and spiritual thoughts following my train wreck of a divorce after 24 years.   Boris Akunin has written almost a dozen mysteries set in a rural village in Russia in the late 1800’s. The hero is a slightly bumbling junior bureaucrat who has a stutter, a knack for clever disguises, and a systematically analytical mind. He finds himself in a position Read more [...]

Lessons Learned From a Divorce

    Simply because you are feeling emptiness in your life right now, does not indicate that nothing is happening. Consider this a time-out, a time for sowing the seeds for new growth.  It is the time to learn crucial lessons learned from your past relationship. In order to totally accept a break up and move on, you need to understand exactly what happened and acknowledging the part you played. It is very important to understand how the choices you made impacted the relationship. Knowing Read more [...]

Help in the Fight to End Domestic Violence

One year ago I had the idea to collect stories from survivors of domestic violence and put them into a book. The focus of this project is not to make money, but to make a difference in a fight that is so near and dear to my heart. Being a clinician who has done a large amount of group work, one thing I have found to be amazingly true is that we learn more from other people who have been through the same thing than “experts.” That is a major reason that I wanted to do the project, but there Read more [...]

Emotions: Threat or Menace?

  Image courtesy of farconville / FreeDigitalPhotos.net By Noah Brand Dozens of posts on this blog so far, and we haven’t talked directly about what I see as the most pervasively damaging issue affecting men in our culture. It’s the one at the root of many of the other problems we suffer, and is perhaps the most intransigent and resistant to change. So yeah. Let’s talk about the fact that men aren’t allowed to have a full emotional range. Yes, okay, “allowed” may be putting Read more [...]