Inconvenient Truths

    From "The Dogs of Divorce" By William Kenly The late-night hour brought no relief from the smothering summer air. Even the sounds of the crickets were muffled by the thick air. The dense air held the smell of the trees and the dead leaves from the woods beyond the driveway. Breathing was an effort. The humid air pressed close to my face, my chest, my body. Even the drops of sweat trying to ooze from my pores required effort because the humid air encased me. Not like a protective Read more [...]

Decide What YOU Want to be a Vulture or Hummingbird?

    It is time for you to decide what you want to be. Do you want to be like a vulture going around looking for death and destruction or would you prefer to be a hummingbird in search of the sweet nectar of life? When you keep reliving the past in your mind with anger aimed at your ex over the end of your relationship, you are devoting too much time and destructive energy with thoughts like the proverbially vulture. Whenever the negative thoughts creep into your mind, identify them, Read more [...]

Does God Love the Divorced?

      Does God Love the Divorced? Absolutely! Categorically! God’s love never fails. That means it doesn’t change based on anything you do, including getting divorced.   Does that mean that everyone experiences God’s love in the way that God gives it? No.   Why not, you might ask. If he’s God then it seems that whatever he does will just work. If he wants you to experience his love you will, won’t you? Let me ask you this question; was God able to keep Read more [...]

There is NOTHING wrong with you!

    “What’s wrong with me?” We are not broken…we do not need to be fixed…  The only thing we may need to fix is how we think about ourselves…how we speak about ourselves…how we act toward ourselves…  …and what exactly does that mean?!?!?  It means…don’t interpret something that doesn’t go according to plan to mean we messed up, or we’re not good enough, or as some sort of punishment for misdeeds (in this or other lifetimes)…  Not everything goes according Read more [...]

A Workbook / Working It Out On Paper / Questions We Can Ask Ourselves

Feel free to answer these 7 questions. Fill in the blanks and be honest with yourself.     1. What could we have done differently?   2. What was the turning point that made us stop getting along?   3. What can I take with me into my next relationship?   4. What baggage will I leave behind?   5. Can we be friends and on what level?   6. What does being friends with an ex really mean?   7. Did we ever really know each other at all?   Follow Read more [...]

Three Important Rules of Etiquette for after Divorce

  Of course, going through a divorce is never easy at all. The knowledge that the person you once loved has officially left your life can be hard to deal with. The finality of divorce is hard to take, especially when adultery is involved. The hurt and betrayal can easily turn post-divorce life into a constant back and forth trying to “get even” with one another. Unless you decide to follow some important rules of etiquette. While your ex is somebody who deserves no more of your time.  Read more [...]

You After Divorce: a Chinese Vase

Recovering after a divorce is hard. Not only do you have to deal with the ensuing emotional roller-coaster and recovery process, but also with an awful feeling of something having broken inside of you. And it’s no wonder, after divorcing, something indeed broke, and that is that innocent thought of Until Death Do Us Part. You come to realize that that is a very rare flavor of marriage, and you might even start doubting yourself and your ability to obtain it…you might blame your former spouse, Read more [...]

Why It’s Important To Be Yourself

    I want to ask you... Is there a hole in your bucket? Do you sometimes feel that no matter what you fill your life with, you’re never quite… satisfied? The most important factor for happiness Psychologists generally agree that the most important factor in happiness (after food and shelter and all that malarkey) is having positive relationships. We seem to instinctively know this and therefore naturally strive to be a part of something: a social group, a romantic Read more [...]

*Sigh Christmas is Over*

    By Gretchen Schiller Done. The last Christmas decoration is in the green-red Tupperware bin. Sigh. Christmas is over. I’m out of my mind ecstatic-jump up & down-over the moon-thrilled that it’s over. But an exasperated sigh is all that keeps coming out of me. I’m tired. No, exhausted. No, depleted. My heart, my mind, my body begging, “no mas.” I’m  in a funk. My characteristic hopeful outlook on hold while I muddle through the fog.  I did a face plant on Read more [...]

How To Handle Disappointment

  Are you one of those lucky sorts who always gets exactly what they want all the time, without fail? That’s you, right? No, I know you're not. And do you know how I know you’re not? Because those people do not exist, so you can stop hating them. Oh, you may think they exist when you see people who seem to have it all but, do you know what? They really don’t, they have their failures like the rest of us, but they just get up, dust themselves off and make the best Read more [...]