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When I am working on something, I become extremely focused on the task at hand, and I do not pay much attention to the things going on around me. This also includes times when I am doing my volunteer work. Meeting someone to date is the farthest thing from my mind.
One day at the local community center I was decorating for a party for underprivileged children. While trying to decorate the room I literally ran into a gentleman that was trying to help. We both dropped everything all over the floor. As I was apologizing for my gracefulness and trying to pick everything up, he commented, “I always notice when a red-head walks into the room, they are blondes on fire!” With that opening statement, I had to look up to see who this man was with such a great sense of humor. Without missing a beat I responded, “You didn’t notice me too well if you ran into me.”
From that moment on we texted, called daily and meet for coffee a few times. I do not reveal my last name or address until I feel very comfortable with a person. Glenn and I seemed to click from the first moment. He was one of those people who could make me laugh, and I love laughter. Since he had such a flexible schedule, I finally asked what he does for a living. He told me he was a private security contractor, and I knew that meant a mercenary because two of my cousins had been in the Special Forces for the military. I thought, “Oh well what the heck that is just their job and I should accept him as a private citizen”. Glenn was called to go overseas on a mission, that is when things got interesting. This nice stable man all the sudden started asking me to send him photographs of where I was. He even asked at 2 a.m. to send him a photo of my bedroom. I received many text messages each day asking me whom I was with and what I was doing. After about a week, I started becoming very uncomfortable with his behavior. I texted him how I was feeling and that when he got back home, maybe we could talk again. But until then while he was overseas, it would be best for him to keep focused on his task at hand.
He became very upset and told me “I know you work out at the gym four or more days a week. There are only three in your town and seven within driving distance of your city. I have photographs of what you look like, and I can have somebody following you within a very short time.” When anyone threatens me, I have one of two options; cower in fear or come back strong. I usually choose to come back strong. I reminded him that I have a concealed handgun license, and I have a gun with me. If anyone tries to hurt me, I will not hesitate to protect myself.
To be honest with you I really was not that good at keeping my gun with me. Many times I left it home, but from that moment on I decided this was a necessity. On that same day, I had the company that monitor my property come over to make sure there were no holes in my security system.
One day at the gym my friend Ryan noticed I was carrying my bag with me from machine to machine. He came up and said “CHL?” and I said, “Yeah how do you know?” He said, “most of us that carry a bag probably have the same thing you carry in our bags as well.” I shared with him what Glenn had said, and he looked at me with a smile and said “don’t worry T, you’re always safe here.” He asked to see a photograph of Glenn, which he in turn shared with some of our other friends at the gym.
Upon Glenn’s arrival back stateside he called to apologize and expressed that many of the wives and girlfriends cheat on their spouses when the men are in the field. He then asked if we could go out for coffee and start over. I told him that I did not think that was such a good idea and wished him well.
I cannot be involved in any relationship where someone is trying to control or threaten me. They have no place in my life, and that is why it is one of my deal breakers. There is no excuse for a person to behave like that. Domestic violence is rarely an isolated incident. Rather, it is a pattern of behavior aimed at establishing and maintaining power and control over someone.
The pattern is typically described as a cycle of violence because the abuser is not always cruel. Since seriousness and effects of abuse escalate in each subsequent cycle, the pattern of domestic violence can also be described as a spiral. In its worst, the spiral can end in the death of the victim.
If you or someone you know may need further information on this topic please go to domesticviolence.org
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1 800-799- (Safe) 7233
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Originally posted 2012-11-30 14:38:34. Republished by Blog Post Promoter