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“Maturity of mind is the capacity to endure uncertainty.” – John Finley
All too often emotional maturity is viewed as a given attribute that a person achieves based on their chronological age. But the truth is that young or old, 6 or 60, isn’t what defines the emotional maturity of a person. The maturity of a person isn’t something that magically is bestowed upon a person when they enter puberty, graduate high school, or turn 21, it is something that comes from within and from mental development. This many times does not coincide with the physical maturing of a person. A truly emotionally mature person is not defined by the answer of one person alone, but by the combination of different areas as they relate to emotions and empathy towards others. Just as with physical maturity, where there are a number of different parts that develop at differing rates, yet all must develop to be mature, this is also true of emotional maturity. The key to the assessment of emotional maturity within relationships is to ask yourself the following questions . . .
1. Do you listen to your partner’s thoughts in a respectful way and without passing judgment upon his or her thoughts and the beliefs which lead him or her to believe as he or she does?
2. Are you able to express to your partner your thoughts in a respectful manner while staying true to your own beliefs and without fearing you will be rejected for expressing them?
3. Do you recognize the emotions that you are having at the time they are present?
4. Are you able to control your emotions and the urges which may accompany them?
5. Are you able to express those emotions to your partner in a way which is acceptable?
6. Are you able to recognize your partner’s emotions and be respectful of them?
7. Are you able to cope with unexpected changes or events in a successful and healthy manner?
8. Do you act in a rational manner when under stress, both good and bad?
9. Are you accepting of the needs and desires of your partner and realize that they are as important as your own, and also feel desire, not obligation, to fulfill them?
10. Are you able to understand and express your own needs and desires to your partner and allow for her to fulfill them as well, while not being expecting of her to do so?
11. Are you capable of realizing when you have made a mistake and able to accept responsibility of those mistakes without self-degradation for them?
12. Are you accepting of the fact that your partner is human and prone to making mistakes and accepting of those mistakes without the passing of judgment upon him or her?
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Originally posted 2013-01-06 23:16:30. Republished by Blog Post Promoter