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I took some time off before attempting any kind of new, potentially physical relationship. Everyone should take the time to reflect and cope with the loss of a relationship regardless of which one ended it. Some of you may have only been married a few years, and then there are others like me. On my 26th wedding anniversary, my divorce was final.
It had been 30 years since I had been a member of the dating world. So much has changed, and I began to wonder if I was prepared to start my new adventure. There was no online dating before I got married and like so many others; we relied on church, friends, or other activities to meet our significant others. Whether we liked it or not, the Internet has changed our lives in the ways, especially how we meet and date people.
Online dating can have positive qualities if people are honest. The screening process it is much more intensive, and the questionnaires are very important. People that are truthful have a good shot at finding someone nice. If someone contacts you and you don’t feel the chemistry, send a polite response like; “Thank you for contacting me but at this time I do not think we are a good match.” Keep your expectations realistic and don’t be shy.
Browse Around: The first step is to look through the profiles and make sure to read them so you can find someone you would like to get to know better. Don’t just look at the pictures! Using an advanced search will help you to narrow down the search process and find someone that is more compatible to you. Hopefully they are as honest as you and also have a current picture, but I have found that this is not always the case.
The Introduction Email: The next step is to send an introduction note letting the person know what you found interesting about them, and it will give you the opportunity to ask them a question or two. I recommend starting off with just a quick note. Keep it simple at the beginning. Your first contact will be the first impression this person will have of you. Be yourself and be honest, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Reach out to many people; if you are interested send them an email. At this stage, you should use online dating service’s e-mail not your personal e-mail.
The Follow Up: If you sent an introduction email and they do not respond within a week, it is OKAY to send ONE follow up. This will show them that you are interested. If they do not respond to the second email, you might want to consider taking them off your list. Some sites have the ability to block people from seeing your profile, use it if it’s available. Doing this will also remove the person from showing up as a suggested match for you. Keep in mind some people go off the site for a few months and then come back on. Before you block someone, check to see the last time they were on the site. If they are not a paid member, most sites will not allow people to receive or send e-mails.
Giving Them Your Private Email: When you have communicated for a while, and both of you would like to have a more open line of communication, use an email account that you have set up just for dating. This one should have no personal information about you not connected/linked to any of your other email account. Some favorite e-mail clients are Yahoo and Google, which have instant messenger (IM) capabilities. For a while, keep all of your personal information protected. It is okay to give them your first name at the beginning of this process but hold off divulging your last name for the time being.
Exchanging Phone Numbers: Before you give out your phone number, make sure you are comfortable and that you are ready for a date. If you can afford it, consider getting a disposable cell phone. Some dating sites have a phone service for an extra fee and you might want to consider this option. Landline numbers are easy to trace, and people can get all kinds of information including your home address. With cell phones, it is a little bit harder to obtain personal information than a landline, but using a disposable cell phone is best option if you can afford it.
The First Date: Time to go on your date and see if there is a physical attraction. If you are like me, you will know in the first 5 minutes. It is okay if you’re not physically attracted to each other, you may have just made a new friend! You never know that friendship could lead you to finding the love of your life. If you are attracted, they haven’t hit any of your deal breakers, congratulations now see where this first date leads.
The old saying goes “You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find YOUR prince or princess.”
With online dating you’re not kissing, but you are communicating so if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again!
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Originally posted 2012-11-27 12:52:52. Republished by Blog Post Promoter