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You have gotten a first date, and if you’re like many of us the question is “Now what do I do on a date? I haven’t been on a first date in YEARS!” Here are some things to keep in mind regarding your date.
1. Plan a short first date, nothing that would require more than a few hours. If things are going well, you can extend the date. I prefer having lunch or coffee. If things are not going well it is much easier to end the date and no one’s feelings get hurt. It’s better having a short date than to be stuck the whole day with someone that is the polar opposite of your personality.
2. Be on time for your date. There is nothing worse than waiting for a first date to show up. Your date will be sitting wondering if you have stood them up or if you’re just stuck in traffic. First dates are stressful enough don’t add to the stress by being late.
3. The conversation should not be about how wonderful you are, and everything you have accomplished. Accept compliments and talk about the things you have done in your life briefly. Point out your good qualities and accomplishments but do not brag. You don’t need to give them a resume of your entire life. Make sure to ask your date about their accomplishments and compliment them. Only talk about yourself for 50% of the time.
4. Show them encouraging body language. Lean towards them when they talk, make eye contact, smile. If you really like them, you will probably already be doing these things naturally.
5. Be considerate when you order. Look for something at midrange price point or ask them what they are ordering then choose something the same price or less. If your date orders an appetizer or starter salad, order something as well. Then you will be eating at the same time and avoid the awkward feeling do I start eating or wait for their food to get here. This same rule of thumb goes for cocktails. If you decide to order a drink, keep it to a minimum it can get expensive quickly and under no circumstances should you get tipsy. Lastly, order items that are not messy, like spaghetti or things you have to eat with your hands. Be sure not to order things with lots of herbs. You don’t want anything to get stuck in your teeth and not know it is there. If your date is not ordering something with garlic and onions skip those items on the first date.
6. Manners are important; unless you were raised in the wild you should understand basic table manners. Do not shovel your food in, eat off their plate, try to feed them, pick at your teeth… Manners are not just about how you behave at the table it also includes not talking about your ex relationships or anyone else you may be dating at the present time. Don’t comment on the attractiveness of others in the restaurant or have a wandering eye. We all have cell phones, but it is rude to talk or text on your phone while on a date. Unless you need the phone on for a babysitter to contact you, turn it off or at least on silent. Your date should be the center of your attention.
On the first date keep the topics light, pleasant and positive. Ask about hobbies and things they really are passionate about. Make sure you listen to what they have to say and ask questions. Avoid the taboo topics like religion, politics, or money. Be yourself and have a sense of humor remember it’s their first date with you.
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