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After a divorce many people ask “Is it Really Possible to Find Love Again?” Finding love after a divorce is always possible. You may not feel that way right now, but you will. As the minister at my church said, “When you are going through the valley of troubled times keep walking! The only ones stuck are the ones that stop walking.”
Yes, healing a broken heart and trusting another person again can be a challenge. Your heart and mind may build up strong walls. You are doing this to protect yourself, but it can make you feel like you are getting nowhere. There is always at least some type of damage after a divorce. The divorce rate is on the rise and as a result, there are more and more of us out there looking.
If you are looking to find love again, here are a few things that can help you succeed. Simple steps you can take that will help you find a strong, healthy, happy relationship.
Let go of your anger!
Even when you try to hide your anger, and you believe no one else knows, others do. People can and do see it. When you are holding on to your anger, just the mention of your ex’s name and you will have what is called “a tell” like in a poker game. People really do see it. It is natural to feel skeptical after losing a relationship, but when people cannot let go of the bitterness, they start to build a wall around themselves. Negativity, sarcasm, and other signs of being bitter are written all over their faces. The people you are trying to attract will not want to be around you. The most important reason you want to shed your anger is it will make you feel so much better. Free yourself and you will smile more, breathe easier, and have a lot more fun.
I know you have heard this, I sure did many, many times. A divorce is like a death. You need to mourn the death of your relationship. You will grieve because all the hopes and dreams you had with this partner will never come true. You need to do this even if you were the one that initiated the divorce. Skipping the grieving process will never work in the long run. You can get into a relationship that is all wrong and end up hurting yourself more. Some people exercise, go to therapy, yoga, and read. Our church, as well as many other churches, has a divorce workshop to help people. You need to find a way that is best for you during this process. When you have finally healed yourself, then you are ready to start to look for love.
Where to Find Love?
When a divorced person is in a comfortable healthy place and ready to find love, there are right ways, and there are wrong ways. There will still be old scars and a bad experience that may deal you a tremendous setback.
Internet dating sites, matchmaker companies, singles bars or the pressure of blind dates can prove to be too much for a divorced person at first. With time, you will get there but until then, here are some ideas.
You can start by meeting new friends volunteering, joining singles groups at a church, or join social groups like one on meetup.com. Joining a new group will increase the likelihood of finding people with your shared interest and boost your self-esteem. It is time to get back into the world once more and find the love you seek because it unlikely to find you if you just sit at home.
Online dating can be a useful tool, and there are services like “It’s Just Lunch”. They do have a screening process and can provide background checks. With both of these types of services, be honest in all aspects that ask of you. The more honest you are the better your chances to find the right person.
Finding love after a divorce is possible but please try to go slow, at a comfortable pace. The key to finding love again is to make sure you take time to grieve and heal before beginning the search. You need to be truly ready to date again to avoid having negative experiences or attracting the wrong people. When you feel ready, it should be at a slow pace, in a positive environment.
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