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What About Parent Alienation?


Welcome to Single Again! Now What? Radio talk Show with your co-hosts, Joanie Winberg and Steve Peck.

The show is a weekly uplifting show to support you, make you laugh or just be the thing that you need to hear at this time in your life.

Here’s Joanie and Steve…

Today’s show: Is your ex turning your child against you or what is called parent alienation?

 

 

 

www.SingleAgain-NowWhat.com,      www.SingleAgain-ForMen.com

 

This week’s Single Again! Now What?… Ask Joanie

Joanie Winberg Divorce Mentor, Certified Human Behavior Consultant founder of the Single Again! Now What? Radio Talk Show. and the CEO of the National Association of Divorce for Women and Children will answer your questions every week.

Have a question? E-mail Joanie @ jw@joanwinberg.com. Put “Ask Joanie” in the subject line.

 

 

After Divorce Survive and Thrive Tools:joanies toolboxWomen- www.SingleAgain-NowWhat.com
Men- www.SingleAgain-ForMen.com

 

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Enjoy,
Joanie Winberg
www.FreshStartAfterDivorce.com

 

 

 

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Originally posted 2013-09-03 10:01:47. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

2 thoughts on “What About Parent Alienation?

  1. This is such an important subject, Joanie, thanks for starting this topic. My ex was a master at it, although I did not recognize that for months and even years. It is more than the ex saying something bad about me to the children. That’s the basic level. The next step, and a more subtle way was for the ex to say things in front of the child that left a question, like “Why hasn’t your father called today to see if you are feeling better?” The next step up is to blame the absent parent for everything including the weather, “Your father knows the grass needs cutting and the neighbors will think we don’t care or can’t get along without him,” or “If your father had helped you with your math, you wouldn’t have flunked that exam. I was never good at math, he is.” Then a level near the top is to make the divorce his fault, and in a global way, like “If he had really loved us, he would have fought the divorce more, I was just trying to get his attention so he could correct some little things. He should have fought for his children harder.”

    This sort of campaign works subtly on a child’s mind, and there are nuclear options that if played from time to time, really seal the deal and guarantee that that child will never want to be with the other parent. One is to drop deep unspeakable facts, like “Your father never satisfied me sexually!”. What’s a child supposed to do with that one? And then the king of manipulations, blame your sickness (real or imagined) on the child so they feel guilty. You can do this when they push back and argue by pretending to have a heart attack or an asthma attack and call 911. Then the next day the parent should drive it home with the child like this, “The doctor at the hospital asked me to make sure you do not feel guilty for causing my attack yesterday. It wasn’t your fault.” If they hadn’t felt guilty before, they sure do now!

    Sure she has some mental imbalance going on there. And sure the your child is 90% sure what she is saying is not right. But it sure is effective.

    Then there’s the big questions. As the absent parent with the children’s best interest at heart and watching these continual brutal tacks on your child, what can you do? The courts can listen and try to mediate, but you’ll never prove these things and it may be a moral issue to put your child on the stand to testify against their own mother. Or the old Japanese method of just leaving until the child turns 18. That way the mom has the illusion she has won and does not have the repeated exposure to your face which seems to set her off.

    For me, the parental orientation was the most difficult part of divorce and the most damaging to my children.

    William Kenly
    author of “The Dogs of Divorce”

  2. Hello William,

    You hit the nail on the head. Parents don’t realize how they are affecting their children. It takes an adult to deal with their own stuff and not involve their kids.

    My wish for my children was to help them to grow up to be healthy and happy adults.

    Thank so much for sharing.
    Joanie

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