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12 x 4 x 10 – Diary of Abuse

12 x 4 x 10 – Diary of Abuse by Misty Frith

I am a deputy; I protect people like me

I am a paramedic; I fix the wounds you cannot see

I’m always strong for others, making sure they cannot see

The terrified, crying side of me

It’s been two years since I asked for help, to keep him away from us

Here, we are again in court, dealing with the fuss

When I come to Indy, I have to take pills

Panic attacks over take me, they come on like chills

A scar on my nose, from a punch to the face

A scar on my leg, a stab with a blade

3 visit’s a week to the chiropractor, C-6 and C-7 injured with spurs

These are permanent; they won’t go away

Reminders of Roger that I deal with every day

I apologize for everything, even when I’m not in the wrong

For fear of a slap, because mistakes were wrong for so long

My friends just smile, give me a hug and say, Misty it’s alright

You will get over this; not everyone will start a fight

My girls get scared and cry if they spill a drink

The fear inside them makes my heart sink

A touch to the back makes me jump sky high

A shadow in the dark always makes me cry

I stop and think which way the toilet paper goes on the role

My head slammed against the wall if wrong that was the toll

Don’t want to cook for others out of fear of wearing it

Because they may not like it or it’s over or under cooked

I still shudder and look around when a guy walks up to me

Praying to God that Roger won’t see

Then I remember I don’t answer to him

My remembrance of him I wish would dim

Memories haunt me night after night

I see his face and feel nothing but fright

I tell myself it’s over; he can’t hurt me anymore

But the feeling in my stomach sinks to the floor

I guess I felt that when we left, the fear and pain would go

But it comes at times I least suspect, and brings me way down low

How could he make me his prisoner, and treat me like a slave

Slap me, hit me, punch me, kick me, instilling nothing but pain

Did it make him feel important, or like a better man

To watch me beg for mercy, and bleed once again

I remember nights of crying, begging him to stop

Bruises forming, blood was running, and tears that wouldn’t stop

He didn’t care, he kept it up, he’d laugh, and he would say

You wait and see you stupid bitch; I’ll put you in your grave someday

The harder I tried, the worse it all got

I was on a roller coaster, that just wouldn’t stop

Every time I tried to leave, he would get even worse

I’ll kill your mom; I’ll kill your dad, and you will have to watch

He said I’d have to watch my girls die a slow and painful death

If I ever called the police on him, he’d beat us all to death

He said the law can’t keep him, for the rest of his life

And if I put him in jail, I would eventually pay the price

So I am sorry; I have to say, I have no sympathy for him or his so called rights

My girls and I live everyday feeling so much fright

I just want this all over, as soon as it can be

My girls and I deserve a life with a little normalcy

There’s nothing you can give him

That’s fair or erase the pain

Cuz 12 months times 4 weeks times 10 years, 480 this is not a game

At least once a week for ten years

We suffered from his rage

Living in a house, that was more like a cage

My girls and I did everything, to try and keep him calm

But nothing ever worked, everything we did was wrong

Slapping, hitting, kicking, it all brought us to tears

All I want at this point, is to forget about those years

To finish up this court case, and let my girls and I move on

We have suffered greatly, for years, way too long

I don’t want to hear his excuses, how its everyone else’s fault

Quit letting him open our wounds, and feeling them with salt

People tell me I am strong, and I have won this fight Can we please just get this over, so I will know that their all right

diaryofabuse

My two daughters and I were in a very violent, abusive relationship for ten years. We are using our horrible past to help other victims of abuse. My oldest daughter, is now 18, and I have done presentations on domestic violence for law enforcement agencies, courts, domestic violence advocates and other organizations. My youngest daughter, is 12, and I have each written a book. Hers, “Diary of Abuse Through A Child’s Eyes.” Mine, “Diary of Abuse No Justice.” We want to help others so that they do not suffer the way we did. Our website is http://diaryofabuse.weebly.com/

We do provide the service of speaking on  domestic violence. Some of the topics we have covered:

        Domestic Violence for Advocates

        Domestic Violence for Families

        Domestic Violence and Employment

        Domestic Violence for Law Enforcement

        Domestic Violence for Court Employees

        Domestic Violence for Victims

We can personalize presentations for your needs.

Contact me for booking and pricing of a presentation

        Misty Frith

        Mistymar2002@gmail.com

        785-214-1003

Domestic Violence affects many more people than just the victim. It affects everyone the victim comes into contact with. It takes their confidence, which affects their jobs and employers. It affects their children. It affects schooling, which affects teachers. It affects whole families, in household and out of household. It even affects strangers, because the victims don’t know how to react around the. Domestic Violence affects everyone.  It If we all stand together against abuse we can make a positive change for victims.

Would you like to support DASNM?  If so, it is easy, just use this link  Amazon Purchases in support of DASNM.com  A small percentage of the amount you order will be sent to DASNM.  Thank you for your support.   —   Tasher

Originally posted 2013-04-21 13:42:50. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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