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If you have someone you are dating, or maybe you are falling in love, or maybe would like to take it to the next level. Is it hard to trust them? Trust is a very difficult thing especially if you have even been mistreated in any way or cheated on or lied to before. Some people are compulsive liars. They cannot help but try to make anything and everything they do seem amazing and very worthy of your praise. I will be the first person to say that trust needs to be earned by everyone you meet. In my field of Private Investigation and Surveillance I have to take the training I have learned on how to read a person and know if they are being honest or not.
I know no one wants to think everyone they come across is lying to them specifically but eventually you may catch your significant other, your child, your parents, or your best friend in a lie to you. Sometimes we do these things not to hurt other people’s feelings. I mean do you really want to know why they are breaking up with you? “It’s not you it’s me, we just aren’t melding, I think we want different things in life.” Now these may be truths but “It’s not you it’s me” could actually mean, I am just not that into you. So really it is me not you.
Luckily I am going to give you some hints and tips on detecting if someone “maybe” lying to you. When I say maybe you need to know, these are great detection tools but are not 100% on the accurate side. Some people are anxious, some people get really nervous when questioned especially on first dates or first phone calls. It doesn’t mean they are lying it just means they may be the nervous type.
Doesn’t look you directly in the eye. Most people who lie are ashamed and it is difficult for them to look at you directly when telling a fib.
Being very fidgety while discussing a situation with you. If you have someone staring at their fingers and picking at a nail or twirling their hair and cannot sit still they are probably not being completely truthful.
When you are asking questions, ask again the same question a little later. It is hard for someone to keep their story straight especially if you catch them off guard.
Watch for facial reactions when asking someone a direct question. Also the time it takes to respond or if they return your question with a question. IE.. “Are you seeing someone else?” “Am I seeing someone else?” pause, pause, pause “Why would you ask me that?”
Again with facial reactions some people turn a little red, their pupils may dilate. They may become flush and may sweat.
If someone becomes angry or seem upset over a question and ask if you have done the same thing. This is avoidance and deflection while they try to think of the lie they want to use.
Pursing of the lips before answering (again if there is a pause there is a reason)
If they have a quick draw and responds with a complete back story and all it may be a rehearsed lie they have been using or was ready to use.
Finally if they say stuff like “Hand to God” or “I swear on my mother’s grave” this is a good indicator they have lied because if they had told the truth you wouldn’t have had to continue to question to get these age-old useful lying words.
Just remember these are just tips and not hard science. Give the person you are with a benefit of a doubt at least a time or two. Also remember it doesn’t hurt to forgive someone for lying. Stay safe!
Private Investigator At Advantage Security Integration in Houston Texas. My email address is firstname.lastname@example.org for confidential consultation or call 713-490-2020 Main 832-485-4317 Office
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Originally posted 2013-05-08 10:20:27. Republished by Blog Post Promoter