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Overnight, a single mother of 6, 5 daughters and 1 son. They needed me so much now, they needed me to be their strength, and needless to say they were mine. My children need to see by my example that we would be okay. They needed & still need to know they will always have me and I will NEVER leave their side or betray them, ever… We would get thru this together and we did, and in many ways we still are. In the months that followed I had some difficult choices to make, our house was being sold on a short sale, and I knew I needed to move out of it somehow someway with 5 kids still at home. No one can ever complain to me about raw knees from spending most hours of the days & nights on them. I probably had the rawest anyone has ever seen because I was praying endlessly for some guidance some light some hope, a glimpse is all I needed and God showed me so much more than I ever asked for.
First thing I did was email the wonderful couple that we had planned to rent their house in WA the week after this all happened. I explained to them that my marriage had ended and that I would not be making the move, after all how in the world would a single mother pack up her 5 kids (and 2 dogs), pack up all our stuff, leave her oldest daughter behind, and move over 1600 miles away to a city with no job promised!? Ya, sounds about crazy doesn’t it!? The home owners were sad and so was I. This house just seemed like it was meant for us. I felt it from the day I spoke to them on the phone and read their very 1st email to me offering their house to our family to lease for a year and an option to purchase. Many times, I pictured our family there, living on the lake, enjoying our new surroundings, making the best of our lives in a beautiful place and starting the new chapter in our lives. My vision came to an end that nasty day in April. No way would I make it alone on the road and in a new place. The home owners wished me their best and went about their lives as I tried to as well.
Then the questions started flooding me like a big wave pushing me under the water….. What am I going to do? Where will we live? I started looking at houses in Tucson, and it felt wrong in so many ways… Why am I going to allow this person who has taken so much from us already take my dreams of moving to this place with my kids away!? I wasn’t! The 1st week of June, I decided I had cried and wallowed enough! It was time to take back my life and make things happen. I woke up at 2am and sat up and said out loud, we are moving; we are leaving this place and starting over. I WILL follow my dreams I WILL make a new life for my kids.
Hitting my knees again praying for a sign this was what I was supposed to do I asked God to please show me something, speak to me thru someone anyone! I emailed the home owners figuring the house was long gone by then. Then I waited, I wanted to start looking for another house but I waited… 2 days, and the home owner emailed me back. She stated that her father had passed away in May, and they had been SO busy with handling their pain and his affairs that they had not rented the house yet and it was mine if I still wanted it. Thank you God, I asked for a sign and you gave me a big one that lead straight to a home! Here was my sign, no doubt about it! I wanted to leave that day! But in order to do this the right way I needed to plan it out to the T, there were little surprises. The checklist began, I reserved the truck, bought and sold a bunch of cars to rack up my savings and planned a move date, July 17th. As the date grew closer, I became more frightened. I lived here all my life, all I knew was here, and I am going to drive away from it all into the very unknown, YIKES! Preparing myself to leave behind my 19 year old child was HARD! Knowing she would be right behind me right after she was done with school and knowing all my friends would look after her and be there for her is what gave me the strength to go and not worry quite as much.
My kids had SO many different feelings about leaving, of course leaving their close friends made them very sad, but the desire to be in a new place near the water kept them excited. Regardless of what they thought at that moment we were moving. As their mother, I had to do what was best for all of us and staying in Tucson just wasn’t it.
The movers came, they loaded our belongings on the 16th and emptied our house aside from what we packed in suitcases. We stayed at my daughters for 3 days and nights spending every moment I could with her… The wee hours of the morning on the 19th we loaded up our suburban kissed & hugged and cried like a baby as we were walking out the door and left AZ. There were countless moments where I almost backed out, even after the truck left with everything I own in it I wanted to back out, but I knew I couldn’t and wouldn’t. We made it to WA on the 20th. I will never forget the feeling of driving to our new house thru the community and how speechless I was about the priceless beauty all around us. Pulling into the driveway and crying, not tears of sadness but tears of joy, tears of achievement, tears of gratitude… We are home, we are free, we will all be okay! I have decided God likes me to do some things that others may think are a little crazy! When people ask how we did it, how we made that move, my answer “On faith & gasoline & the wings of prayer”!
Stay Tuned more of the story to come…….
Part 2 April Just Isn’t My Month
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Originally posted 2013-04-22 11:49:04. Republished by Blog Post Promoter