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Reach Out “Does It Get Any Better With Time?”
Member Requesting Input
“I only started divorce proceedings against my abusive husband yesterday, I had to go through everything, and does the pain of going through the process get easier?”
Member Response 1
Way to go 🙂 It takes courage and strength to make a big life change. It is ok to get some professional help as you go thru. I am in counseling now to help me with the stress, depression, and all of the other stuff that comes with this huge divorce event. Check with your employer for EAP behavior health benefits, your health insurance, and positive support groups or one on one. You will be ok. Read positive affirmations every day.
Member Response 2
Yes…little by little….day by day. Every day you wake up you will find it is that much easier and you have more and more strength and determination. Surround yourself by those that love you and don’t stay inside and sulk. Be active….go out with friends…go to the gym….enroll in classes at a local college. Focus on YOU!
Member Response 3
Follow up on everything the police suggested. Here in the US the street is public property and my ex would sit out in his van all hours and watch the house. The police would drive by more often but there was nothing other than telling me that they could do. I ended up moving to another state I will keep you in my prayers God bless you
Member Response 4
I filed 9 months ago…it does get easier…he will find less and less to harass you about…and as you grow stronger they will affect you less each time he tries…Find a good therapist to help you learn to re pattern your thinking and how to stop doing the dance of anger and abuse…and good friends who will help you through the hard times…you are not alone in your fight, you will get through this and you will be stronger and shine brighter than you ever thought possible!
Member Response 5
It will and probably end up in anger and hatred in the end. More than what you have now. Just keep cool and remind yourself it’s for the best.
Member Response 6
Yes it does get easier. It gets much easier. As the process went along things just became easier for me during and after my divorce. Once the divorce began I was stronger by the day. Today I live a very happy life.
Member Response 7
Yes, but it takes time.
Member Response 8
I do know how you feel but I filed for separation not divorce and he countered with divorce. You are a bit stronger than me but I will say it was good and I went through the safe nest program which I strongly encourage you to do. With time and healing it will be better and you will look back and think how did I live in so much pain and not know how bad it felt. At least that is how it was for me.
Member Response 9
Yes it does.
Member Response 10
It will, but I have found there are valleys to face. I will find I have climbed up out of the dark some, and then he does something or there is a reminder and I fall back a little, so be aware that can happen. But I think that is to be expected, and is part of the process. “Two steps forward and one step back”. But now I am feeling that it is more 3 or 4 steps forward and 1 back, so it is improving . God bless!
Member Response 11
As an Advocate…I would say that it will. Eventually. But if you can, let it empower you. Look at the end result. You already know he will be an azz. So except that n go with it. Not saying that he won’t shock you. But if you can… let it empower you.
Member Response 12
Yes and BRAVO for finding the strength to get out!!!! Time and God heals ALL wounds. Pleeeeeease find a support group and ONLY associate with friends that lift you up; that’s all a part of the healing process.
Member Response 13
I am just starting as well; it is so hard and confusing
Member Response 14
Eventually you will be able to keep to the facts and keep the emotions out of it.
Member Response 15
It’s been 9 months I’m going through my divorce every day it’s a war…..sometimes I feel it’s made me stronger living in a culture and society such as mine but most of the times I feel its left me hollow like the scar on my face that an abusive relation left……when will the blows and the punches be actually over!
Member Response 16
Yes I can promise you it will it will take a year to start feeling better and after that first year it gets easier, don’t sit around and cry like I did I had no wrinkles and mom told me that I would I cried every day for a year she was right
Member Response 17
Yes it will….just breath everyday….look for what makes you happy….there is light at the end…..you deserve so much more. Life is short…love every minute
Member Response 18
It’s scary in the beginning but it will get easier. I did the same thing but I chose my children and my safety over the love I felt for my abuser. Talking about the experiences helped me realize it wasn’t my fault things happened. Once I realized that…my life began to get better. Life is never going to be easy but the more u work on you and for yourself….the more bearable it’ll be!! Good luck! ♡
Member Response 19
Yes it does!
Member Response 20
You will get past it eventually. Just remember you are worth. Discover who u are again and know that even in the weakest moment you have strength in Christ.
Member Response 21
It will. But for now it continues. Be strong and know that the sun will shine in your world again.
Member Response 22
All I filed yesterday also. I’m scared. He wasn’t a bad person. It was that he wouldn’t stand up to his family for me. I got tired of all the bull from them. It made me not want to be with him anymore. 10 years. I never thought that I would have the courage to say goodbye.
Member Response 23
Yes it does. It changes over time.
Member Response 24
Yes it does. Good for you, the battle was just going through all that pain again and facing it. Each day gets better
Member Response 25
Be proud of the strength you have, you’re an inspiration to women. I left mine a year ago. Was a hard road but oh so worth it. It does get easier. Not right away but it does. Best of luck!!
Member Response 26
It will if you let it! Forgive yourself, forgive him and allow yourself to heal!
Member Response 27
Bottom of Form
Yes, it does. My mantra during this time was, “Keep moving. Keep moving.” Here are two suggestions that helped me: Hard physical exercise every day to work the bile out and to get oxygen to the tense muscles, and find something really good every day. A flower, a child’s smile, and think of that just before you drift off to sleep. You have to teach your brain to look for the good, since you are immersed in that meanness all around. You can train your brain. Good luck. ~William Kenly, author of “The Dogs of Divorce”
Member Response 28
All of this is good advice. You will be ok. Surround yourself with the people that love you. Forgive him and forgive yourself. Anger and hate will eat away at your soul and will hurt you more than it does him. Get some counseling if you need to, and work on yourself and your life! You can do it!!!!
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Originally posted 2014-01-10 09:35:41. Republished by Blog Post Promoter