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“Could someone tell me how to deal with my children, who are adults now, the youngest being 18, but they will always be my babies. I have kept them out of the nastiness all along but now I have hit rock bottom and don’t want to live anymore. I have Cancer and have stopped my treatment because I haven’t got the guts to commit suicide. But we had a huge row in the house the other night and I got dressed and left the house at breakneck speed and stayed driving around all night and eventually stopped in a car park and just sat there thinking. I didn’t come home till about lunchtime the following day as they were about to call the police because they knew what state I was in. Now I know I have hurt them so much by doing that it is making me worse and driving me to get this over sooner rather than later. I don’t know what to say to them apart from sorry but it’s not enough.”
Member Comment 1
It’s so hard to be able to protect our kids from the bad in life. Children are smarter then we give them credit for and what we think we have kept them from is not always right. I suppose being honest with them is the only thing to do. In the same aspect, whatever reason you stopped treatment for your cancer is your choice but it sounds like some sorta depression medicine may be the best thing for you at this point. Because you don’t care about your own life right now please remember that there are many who do care about you and to make them suffer so much now is not nice because when you are gone its gonna be that much harder.
Member Comment 2
One thing to note is, the cancer treatments, themselves can give you physical depression as it changes all kinds of chemicals and processes in the body. That is something you need to remind yourself of…that this is a hell you WILL get through, and you aren’t alone. You need to tell your children how you feel, and your doctor. You may need anti-depressants to feel better and get through. God has a plan and a purpose for your life, and you are very important to Him and your kids and other’s lives He has yet for you to touch. Don’t give up!
Member Comment 3
Hugs to you and prayers. So hard living with cancer – very stressful. I would speak to your kids and let them now how stressed you are and you feel like you hit rock bottom – they need to support you!
Member Comment 4
When your children were small and helpless, you were bigger, and stronger and you took care of them…now that they’re grown, they’ve earned the privilege of being your strength, and to care for you in your hour of need.
My prayer for you is that you allow the light of hope and faith to shine for you. many blessings!
Member Comment 5
It’s obvious your children love u so much,,,,
Possible your pastor could help u…
Being some peace with in yourself… So your able to spend your remaining time with your adult children in a more peaceful n make a few more memories along way!
May god bless each one of you, but do know! You are not alone….
Member Comment 6
When my mother was battling Cancer the doctors encouraged her to fight for her life. You have to fight for the life that you were given no matter what. God brought this to you and he will see you through it. You have the right to be angry, sad, mad and everything in between. I’m sure it was a shock to you and you reacted the best way you saw fit at the time. Don’t give up this is just your test.
Thank you all for your comments. I really appreciate them. I am well aware of my depression and am on treatment for it but I just can’t get over the guilt I feel because I feel the divorce was my fault, even though I was on heavy medication and apparently said a lot of nasty things which I have absolutely no memory of at all and that is the truth. Nobody will even tell me what I said. They just won’t speak to me anymore. But I do have to say that you inspired me in ways he will never know and I’ll have to read his book….NEVER GIVE UP. Thank you all for your help, the future is in my hands but as for my kids, well I know they won’t look after me because even though I am still young, they want to put me in a Home. They say they have lives of their own to live. From the day they were born I devoted my entire life for them and probably looking back, I spoiled them, so again, it’s my own fault. Blessed is he who expecteth nothing.
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