Guidelines to Follow if Still Have to Be In Contact with Your Abuser

  Here are some guidelines to follow if still have to be in contact with your abuser.    - Tell the abuser that you will not accept the statements that define you and list examples. - Tell your abuser that you will video all meetings. Then keep a video camera with you. - Limit contact with the abuser. - Say "What did you say?" if you do hear verbal abuse - Be prepared to leave the presence of the abuser if you are abused - Hang up the phone if you are abused. - Try to keep any Read more [...]

Additional Tips on Getting Over Your Ex

It can still be hard to bury all those memories and move on with your life even if you decided to end the relationship especially if they cheated on you. I have put together some Additional Tips on Getting Over Your Ex,  I have used to help me get past the loss of a relationship. Write it Down - When you have issues with your ex and you feel you must contact them now, DO NOT CALL or TEXT MESSAGE them at that moment. Instead, get a pen and paper and write it down (or type it on your computer) Read more [...]

Help in the Fight to End Domestic Violence

One year ago I had the idea to collect stories from survivors of domestic violence and put them into a book. The focus of this project is not to make money, but to make a difference in a fight that is so near and dear to my heart. Being a clinician who has done a large amount of group work, one thing I have found to be amazingly true is that we learn more from other people who have been through the same thing than “experts.” That is a major reason that I wanted to do the project, but there Read more [...]

Do We Embrace the Throw Away Attitude in Our Marriages?

            In the wake of a very high profile celebrity divorce case here in the UK, this morning I was asked to speak on a handful of mid-morning BBC radio stations on their case and the general topic of divorce and domestic abuse. I was asked several times whether people threw the towel in on their marriages quicker than had happened in the past. Prior to my research on the subject, I would have said that as a society (Western world anyway) we have embraced Read more [...]

Male Inspired Divorce Poetry will be Available Early 2014

  Male inspired divorce poetry will be available early 2014     All things being equal, the men's version of Poetry of Divorce should be available in the Spring of 2014.Poetry of Divorce is a collection of upbeat, stark, witty, gritty yet essentially encouraging poems, by Tracey West.Through her sharp and comedic pen, they outline everything from the uphill struggles, to the absolute adventures faced by many men, as they attempt to carve a coherent route through the most emotionally Read more [...]

Encouraging Thoughts to Help Improve Your Self-Esteem

    Encouraging Thoughts to Help Improve Your Self-Esteem  Thoughts that inspire exploration and reflection (again, compliments to my beautiful therapist) Happiness can be defined in many ways, but what IS it that gives us this wonderful sensation that emanates from deep within ourselves? The answer comes from deep within. Self Esteem or Self Respect is not given to use through praise, gifts or attention. It’s about ourselves learning how to do things for ourselves, how to be responsible Read more [...]

Two’s Company, Three’s a Crowd: Avoiding Triangulation in Your Future Relationships

  Abusive relationships leave our self-esteem debilitated. People who have experienced abuse in their previous relationships have become paralyzed with fear-- fear of not being able to love again, fear of not being loved again and that fear of experiencing failure in their future relationships. You may currently be healing from abuse, and you think that it may still be too early to enter into a new relationship, and you are right. However, there is nothing too early about learning and understanding Read more [...]

Projection: Your Partner is Not a Mirror

    Projection in relationships is one of the most common reasons of abusive relationships. This is a defense mechanism of most people that they are not aware of. Projection is what other people do in order to manage and cope with their feelings. Psychological projection is about projecting your undesirable feelings to someone else instead of dealing with it yourself. When this is done in a relationship, it becomes an abusive one. When Projection becomes Abusive This abusive behavior Read more [...]

Why do Some Married People Find it Acceptable to Poke “Fun” at Their Partners in Public?

  Please read my Editors Note at the end of this article.       Why do Some Married Women Find it Acceptable to Poke Fun at Their Husbands in Public? By Gint  Aras   I noticed that several married women I know on Facebook posted this joke on their timelines in recent days: Woman’s Ass Size Study There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses. The results are very interesting. 10% of women think their ass is too skinny 30% of women think Read more [...]

NARCISSISTIC TRAITS

  NARCISSISTIC TRAITS   Turns every conversation to him/her expects you to meet his/her emotional needs Ignores the impact of his/her negative comments on you Constantly criticizes or berates you and knows what is best for you Focus on blaming rather than taking responsibility for their own behavior Expect you to jump at their every need Is overly involved with their own hobbies, interests or addictions ignoring your needs Has high need for attention: Brags, sulks, complains, Read more [...]