Do We Embrace the Throw Away Attitude in Our Marriages?

            In the wake of a very high profile celebrity divorce case here in the UK, this morning I was asked to speak on a handful of mid-morning BBC radio stations on their case and the general topic of divorce and domestic abuse. I was asked several times whether people threw the towel in on their marriages quicker than had happened in the past. Prior to my research on the subject, I would have said that as a society (Western world anyway) we have embraced Read more [...]

Male Inspired Divorce Poetry will be Available Early 2014

  Male inspired divorce poetry will be available early 2014     All things being equal, the men's version of Poetry of Divorce should be available in the Spring of 2014.Poetry of Divorce is a collection of upbeat, stark, witty, gritty yet essentially encouraging poems, by Tracey West.Through her sharp and comedic pen, they outline everything from the uphill struggles, to the absolute adventures faced by many men, as they attempt to carve a coherent route through the most emotionally Read more [...]

Encouraging Thoughts to Help Improve Your Self-Esteem

    Encouraging Thoughts to Help Improve Your Self-Esteem  Thoughts that inspire exploration and reflection (again, compliments to my beautiful therapist) Happiness can be defined in many ways, but what IS it that gives us this wonderful sensation that emanates from deep within ourselves? The answer comes from deep within. Self Esteem or Self Respect is not given to use through praise, gifts or attention. It’s about ourselves learning how to do things for ourselves, how to be responsible Read more [...]

Two’s Company, Three’s a Crowd: Avoiding Triangulation in Your Future Relationships

  Abusive relationships leave our self-esteem debilitated. People who have experienced abuse in their previous relationships have become paralyzed with fear-- fear of not being able to love again, fear of not being loved again and that fear of experiencing failure in their future relationships. You may currently be healing from abuse, and you think that it may still be too early to enter into a new relationship, and you are right. However, there is nothing too early about learning and understanding Read more [...]

Projection: Your Partner is Not a Mirror

    Projection in relationships is one of the most common reasons of abusive relationships. This is a defense mechanism of most people that they are not aware of. Projection is what other people do in order to manage and cope with their feelings. Psychological projection is about projecting your undesirable feelings to someone else instead of dealing with it yourself. When this is done in a relationship, it becomes an abusive one. When Projection becomes Abusive This abusive behavior Read more [...]

Why do Some Married People Find it Acceptable to Poke “Fun” at Their Partners in Public?

  Please read my Editors Note at the end of this article.       Why do Some Married Women Find it Acceptable to Poke Fun at Their Husbands in Public? By Gint  Aras   I noticed that several married women I know on Facebook posted this joke on their timelines in recent days: Woman’s Ass Size Study There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses. The results are very interesting. 10% of women think their ass is too skinny 30% of women think Read more [...]

NARCISSISTIC TRAITS

  NARCISSISTIC TRAITS   Turns every conversation to him/her expects you to meet his/her emotional needs Ignores the impact of his/her negative comments on you Constantly criticizes or berates you and knows what is best for you Focus on blaming rather than taking responsibility for their own behavior Expect you to jump at their every need Is overly involved with their own hobbies, interests or addictions ignoring your needs Has high need for attention: Brags, sulks, complains, Read more [...]

Your EX Will Oppress You As Long As You Allow Them

    How do you self-repair from an ex who has abused you physically, mentally, perhaps even sexually? You take a deep breath and decide to do precisely that. Your ex will continue to oppress you as long as you give them the opportunities and power to do so and the first steps in reclaiming the reins come by stating that it’s happened for the final time. You may well need counseling and additional assistance from your doctor and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Containing the Read more [...]

Divorce Source Radio Episode “What Makes Us Crazy During Divorce and The Need to Protect Your Children”

    Podcast: Play in new window | Download     In this episode of The Intelligent Divorce, with Mark Banschick, M.D., we talk about what it is about divorce that makes seemingly “normal” people behave in crazy, and even violent, ways? Dr. Banschick explains that it’s more or less normal for divorcing individuals to believe they are the victim. This can even be the case for people who have had an affair because they might see the reason they did so was that their partner Read more [...]

Did They Choose to Abuse? Ask Yourself Two Questions

    It is important to point out that labeling my ex's behavior as the result of a disorder awards him too much sympathy and leniency. He, and all other narcissists (N's) or Borderlines (BPD's) and sociopaths, know exactly what they are doing. While their inclinations are driven by a tragic psychological disorder, their actions are chosen. They choose to abuse! Plain and simple. If you're not sure about this and want to believe that their behavior is beyond their control, ask yourself Read more [...]