12 x 4 x 10 – Diary of Abuse

12 x 4 x 10 - Diary of Abuse by Misty Frith I am a deputy; I protect people like me I am a paramedic; I fix the wounds you cannot see I’m always strong for others, making sure they cannot see The terrified, crying side of me It’s been two years since I asked for help, to keep him away from us Here, we are again in court, dealing with the fuss When I come to Indy, I have to take pills Panic attacks over take me, they come on like chills A scar on my nose, from a punch to the face A scar on Read more [...]

Guidelines to Follow if Still Have to Be In Contact with Your Abuser

  Here are some guidelines to follow if still have to be in contact with your abuser.    - Tell the abuser that you will not accept the statements that define you and list examples. - Tell your abuser that you will video all meetings. Then keep a video camera with you. - Limit contact with the abuser. - Say "What did you say?" if you do hear verbal abuse - Be prepared to leave the presence of the abuser if you are abused - Hang up the phone if you are abused. - Try to keep any Read more [...]

Help in the Fight to End Domestic Violence

One year ago I had the idea to collect stories from survivors of domestic violence and put them into a book. The focus of this project is not to make money, but to make a difference in a fight that is so near and dear to my heart. Being a clinician who has done a large amount of group work, one thing I have found to be amazingly true is that we learn more from other people who have been through the same thing than “experts.” That is a major reason that I wanted to do the project, but there Read more [...]

ABSOLUTE rule of NO CONTACT! When Leaving an Abusive Relationship

    Exposing ourselves to our ex pathological leaves us WIDE open to be sucked in again. Remember they have the ability to hypnotize us and place us in a trance-like state VERY quickly. Confronting our ex-pathological leaves us wide open for re-victimization. Psychopaths absolutely HATE to be exposed face to face. Confronting our ex-pathologicals puts us in danger of severe wrath and retribution at the hand of someone who has absolutely no empathy for anyone and who is prone to rages Read more [...]

Projection: Your Partner is Not a Mirror

    Projection in relationships is one of the most common reasons of abusive relationships. This is a defense mechanism of most people that they are not aware of. Projection is what other people do in order to manage and cope with their feelings. Psychological projection is about projecting your undesirable feelings to someone else instead of dealing with it yourself. When this is done in a relationship, it becomes an abusive one. When Projection becomes Abusive This abusive behavior Read more [...]

The Right to Feel is Violated by Emotionally Abusive Behavior

    A right that everyone has in relationships, which is violated by emotionally abusive behavior is the right to feel: You must learn the difference so you will not keep getting into abusive relationships.   The Right to Feel - In a healthy relationship, each person is able to recognize what they are feeling at any given moment and feel it safely. They can talk about it with other trustworthy people. They are able to anticipate and fulfill their own needs. They are able to notice Read more [...]

Learn Some Basics About Abuse Part 4 – Discovering Your Lost Self: Bye Bye Co-Dependency!

  Thanks You for reading this article. DASNM has two complimentary gifts for you. You will find the information for the free gifts by Scrolling Down after the article.   A lot of people stay in abusive relationships because of the fear of being alone or not being loved by other people. They will say for the longest time that they want out, but they end up not leaving. There are some people who do leave, but they tend to repeat the same self-destructive attitude in their new relationship. Co-dependency Read more [...]

Learn Some Basics About Abuse Part 1

Thanks You for reading this article. DASNM has two complimentary gifts for you. You will find the information for the free gifts by Scrolling Down after the article. The symptoms of abuse are not always easy to spot and recognize. Even if you’re not in an abusive relationship it’s important to be aware of how to spot those who are being abused, how to deal with being abused, and how to cope with divorce that involves abuse. Many times when there is verbal or emotional abuse there are no Read more [...]

Reach Out – “Does It Get Any Better With Time?”

    Reach Out “Does It Get Any Better With Time?”   Member Requesting Input "I only started divorce proceedings against my abusive husband yesterday, I had to go through everything, and does the pain of going through the process get easier?"   Member Response 1 Way to go 🙂 It takes courage and strength to make a big life change. It is ok to get some professional help as you go thru. I am in counseling now to help me with the stress, depression, and all of the other Read more [...]

The No Contact Rule!

      The No Contact Rule!   1. No calls, no texts, no emails, no smoke signals, no carrier pigeons. Make a list of every nasty hurtful thing they said and did to you and keep a copy near every communication device you own. 2. No “accidental” meetings (if you can help it). Change your routine. Go to the gym at a different time or on different days. Find an alternate sports pub. Go to a different grocery store. Yes, it’s unfair that you have to change your lifestyle Read more [...]