Try this Today: Enjoy the Same Moon

  By Gretchen Schiller  Try this Today Series. Everyday application for healthy co-parenting. In earlier posts, I mentioned how I’m working hard toward making a daily choice to try to strengthen the bond between Ana Lu and her dad instead of allowing the toxic poison from the divorce seep into her innocent life. So I’m going to try this today. Maybe you can too. *This also works well for married couples; a spouse on a business trip…a spouse working late…grandparents who live Read more [...]

Emotional Aftermath to Mop Up

  As if a feisty divorce wasn’t enough to cope with, all too often there is emotional aftermath to mop up as well. It might be yours, or one of your children's, it might even belong to a close confidant who has supported you through your divorce.   Manifestations of post-divorce angst might rise in the form of depression or a silent retreat, it might be anger-filled resentment, and it could even be a complete slip off the rails with a meltdown thrown in.   Whatever form it Read more [...]

Review Your Alcohol Intake

  If you feel you have been indulging alcohol more than you know is good for you, that’s actually quite a good sign. Recognizing what you’re doing might not be in your body’s best interests, is the first step to addressing an excess.  You probably know already that alcohol is in fact a depressive substance, it may give you a temporary lift but if you are feeling down in the mouth, it’s more likely to exacerbate those dark feelings and it can easily make a bad situation appear Read more [...]

Night Magic Walks and A Date That Showed Me I Can

    Dark nights hold a magical attraction. Dark winter nights, especially. Primeval powers swirling around me, luring me, drawing me into their grasp, removing the scales from my eyes to reveal the inner vortexes of the night universe, of my connections with the divine. Smelling the brine of the ocean in Long Island Sound at low tide, the aromas were even more sweet in the blackened panorama when competing visual inputs are absent. And sounds! Oh My Dear Sweet God, what sounds I hear Read more [...]

Relationships – Domestic Violence

    When you are young everything revolves around relationships...your relationship with your family, your relationships with your friends and peers, and your romantic relationships.  As we age and grow into who we are as people it is natural for the focus to be less on relationships with others and more on the relationship we have with ourselves; however, even as adults that often isn't the case. In our society we put a lot of emphasis on romantic love.  We watch romantic comedies, Read more [...]

Clean Break Orders

Clean Break Orders are agreements that have been stamped and sealed by the courts and they state that neither party has grounds to make a financial claim on their ex, once their divorce has settled. It stands firm even in the event of an untimely death soon after the divorce and is generally suitable if there are no children under 18 that need providing for. If one of the parties earns considerably less than the other, a court may rule the balance of equity be more favorable towards them by Read more [...]

A Hate Campaign is Simply Toxic

    Whether you have recently split up or are in receipt of your Decree Absolute or Divorce Decree, it’s worth investing a time when deciding if you want to hang out with a group of friends. Toxic groups that have nothing better to do with themselves than whoop up a hate campaign are simply that, toxic. They will dampen your already depleted effervescence in their futile and thoughtless attempts at making you feel better. They are likely to leave you feeling that you have a complete Read more [...]

Inspirational Quotes #46

    Inspirational Quotes Believe you can and you're halfway there." - Theodore Roosevelt "Mistakes are proof that you are trying." - Unknown “If we could look into each other’s hearts & understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance and care.” – Marvin J Ashton “Children are human beings to whom respect is due, superior to us by reason of their innocence & of greater possibilities Read more [...]

Small Packages

  By Gretchen Schiller “I tired, Mommy.” Three-year-old Ana Lu leaned into me and wrapped her arms around my leg. “I know, Sweetie, me too,” I replied. This was the sixth apartment we’d looked at today. Ana Lu had hit her limit two apartments ago. I hit mine six apartments ago. The landlord jostled the key and opened the door. Ana Lu froze. I knew what she was thinking. Ick. I agreed. Ick. I gently nudged Ana Lu through the threshold of the door. We had to do the obligatory walk Read more [...]

Divorce Coping Tip of the Day – You will Rise Again

      After a divorce, you may feel as though you are standing on the top of a mountain and about to kick off a tiny piece of gravel. You know the moment it starts to fall it will nudge other rocks, which in turn will displace boulders and before you know it; you’ll have an avalanche at your feet. The changes that take place through this period will probably show on your face, and you shouldn’t shy away from that. You will rise again so be proud of all of your evolving facets, Read more [...]