Be Grateful Your Audience is Smaller

    If you think you are having a rough time of it with your divorce, be glad you’re not a celebrity. Their high profile ding dongs play out in front of audiences of millions of adoring fans and invariably, the media will favor one side of the partnership. The ‘bad guy’ will be hung, drawn and quartered in front of their friends, family and those who appreciate their acting/music/writing etc. You can almost guarantee that whatever spin is being put on their story, it’s a world away Read more [...]

Recount Out Loud the Highlights of Your Relationship

  I was tapped on the shoulder by a wonderful old friend today who I’ve not seen in two years and we stood in the middle of Waitrose clucking like a pair of ducks catching up with each other’s news in digest.   I relayed my divorce news in bite-sized chunks and found myself bullet pointing that old relationship. It was enlightening - for me - and I want to direct this Tip of the Day to anyone on the lead up to leaving, or anyone who has been treated badly and is now in the devastatingly Read more [...]

Problems Appearing Bigger Than They Actually Are

    If you have a growing mass of problems to solve and they’re stressing you out, sit down with a piece of paper, a pen, a phone and a cup of tea. Problems are like shadows, often appearing bigger than they actually are when they’re rolling around in your head. Start by writing down what you consider are the biggest issues you need to deal with right now and draw an encompassing circle around them. Move on through the other problems and do the same, listing them all as they fall Read more [...]

Divorce Coping Tip of the Day – Light Some Candles

The early evening can be one of the most troublesome periods of the day. The circumstances are perfect for letting a ripe imagination run away with itself, but you’d do better devoting energy to recharging your batteries at the end of a volatile day. Lighting a few tea light candles can mark the passage into the evening with a bit more serenity and calm. They are often used in churches and people are encouraged to light them for loved ones who have passed away or are ill. If you’re in a good Read more [...]

Overwhelming Feelings of Sadness and Failure

  If you are wallowing in overwhelming feelings of sadness and failure in respect of your divorce, it will undoubtedly have affected your entire disposition. Let me take the liberty of reminding you that you are not a failure at all, these things happen, divorce is a pathway walked by close to 50% of the American and UK married population; they aren’t failures either, they are just regular Joe's and Josephine's like you and I. It might not feel like it right now, but you are so much more Read more [...]

Divorce is a Very Powerful Word

        Accept the fact that divorce has the ability to completely liberate you and debilitate you too. Divorce is a Very Powerful Word It's a very powerful word and state of mind and its energy should not be underestimated. Treat the entire divorce process with the utmost respect and do all you can to learn from the experience. After the event, find time for some careful analysis. Digest the lessons, really learn from them, and build on them with a view to it never Read more [...]

Lighter Side Quotes #25

Lighter Side Quotes #25  “I was chasing my dreams, but tripped over reality and busted my head on the truth!”-  MEV “Don’t wish your life away, don’t wish that you were younger or older. Enjoy the process of growth and enjoy the phase of your life that you are in right now.” - 25-things-i-would-tell-my-younger-self "Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us." – Unknown "The best is yet to come" - Read more [...]

Seek Out Divorce Recovery Groups or Workshops Near You

  For some, walking a solitary path to healing from a divorce, is the way forward. For others, sharing their experience and empathizing with others who are at sea in the same boat, is the way to go for their recovery. If you feel you belong in the boat, it might be worth seeking out divorce recovery groups or workshops near you; there are lots and they seem to be quite a growing trend. A quick search on the Internet will bring up Divorce Care (US) and Divorce Recovery Workshop (UK) - there Read more [...]

A Divorce Party?

      There’s a growing trend in the US for a divorce party at some point after the divorce is final and they seem to be catching on and gathering strength in the UK too. Whilst I understand the significance of celebrating the fact that this unpredictable period is over, I’m not entirely sure I get wedding ring coffins and black iced cakes with plastic icons of dead grooms perched on the top, but it seems the commercial wheels still turn even for the most morose of life events. The Read more [...]

No Magic Recipe for a Fast Fix

    Stress-busting can become an occupational hazard while you tread water through and after a turbulent divorce.   It can easily blow up and manifest into physical symptoms that leave you feeling utterly depleted, void of all confidence and unable to focus on the here and now.   I wish I could give you a magic recipe for a fast fix, unfortunately I cannot, but I can tell you that things don’t have to play out as a foregone conclusion.   You might think that you Read more [...]