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Etiquette in Divorce for The Cheater

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As the aggressor in a divorce, the cheater should really have no right to be getting in there and using underhand tactics. As somebody who broke the rules in their marriage, resorting to less than friendly tactics and petty, vindictive moves is not going to help anything move on.

Remember – you broke your ex’s heart. You cannot possibly expect them to be alright about this, can you? They will be hurt and smarting, and some ex’s in this situation will react in an immature manner. Rather than getting angry or vindictive, remember why they are acting in this way – you cheated on them!

The best thing to do in this circumstance is try and follow the ground rules put below. Hopefully, you can avoid making any mistakes that are going to ignite the situation and leave you both at each other’s throats forever. You may never be close again, you may never even be friends again, but you do not need to become mortal enemies.

Avoid Meetings

When I say this, we do not mean for you to avoid going to pick up your children for visitation or moving to another state so you will not run into them at the grocery store.  What I mean is do not EVER bring your new partner – especially if it is who you slept with in your affair – anything you know you will be seeing your ex, including picking up the children for visitation.

This, of course, is almost impossible to move on from. Your ex will hate the site of your new partner so do not even put them in the position that could inflame what is already a very combustible set of circumstances.

Play Along

Remember, you are the one who cheated. This means that, you do not really get too much say regarding how your ex process and deals with post-divorce life. This is not to guilt you or make you feel bad, that is not my intent.  I am just trying to help you realise because it was your choice to have the affair, you do not have the opportunity to call the shots regarding someone else’s reaction.

In this situation, it is best just to let things go (play along) for a while. You hurt your ex so much they may be spending plenty of time trying to come up with ways to get you back or make you see how they feel.  For now take it on the chin and do not react.  Any reaction on your part is showing them their actions are affecting you and this encourages them to do more.  They may interpret it as your guilt and regret is at least having a say.  No reaction and taking it on the chin will not encourage them and most likely they will reduce or stop completely.

When you hear your ex say the harshest, most stinging criticisms interpret them for what they are- the words of somebody who is deeply wounded.  But it does not give them a free pass to cross your boundaries.  If there is any abusive of any kind (words or actions) or your boundaries are crossed remove yourself from your ex immediately and call the authorities if needed.

Research Ideas on Good Etiquette

Just as there are many reasons for an affair there are as many reactions that your ex will have toward you.  Kate Scharff has written a wonderful article for those processing this in her article “The Cheater’s Guide to Divorce”.  RiseWithMe.com has a wonderful article “Good Ex-etiquette can help Communication”.
Here is a great book full of great ideas that can help

As a Thank You for reading the article DASNM has a TWO complimentary 30 minute coaching session just for you one from Joanie and the other is from Lillian. Below you will find the contact information for both of our Certified Coaches. Additionally download your free Sassy Zen EBook today (link below). Divorce Support is just a phone call away!


Are you searching for the solution to a problem or challenge in your life? Take advantage of a no cost half-hour telephone consultation with Lillian. This is an opportunity for you to discuss the positive changes you would like to experience, and to determine whether Lillian’s Sassy Zen Coaching Method can help you achieve them.

Lillian’s telephone number is 917-572-6702 Or email her lillian@sassyzen.com to set up a Skype session.


Are any of the following concerns keeping you awake at night?

– Will I always feel this lonely?- I feel stuck. I need help setting goals for my new life.- How do I deal with stress and the feeling of being overwhelmed as a single parent on a daily basis?

– Dating again? How do I get started and attract the “love of my life”?

If any of the concerns above are keeping you awake at night, then call Joanie Winberg, a Divorce Mentor directly @ 508-947-2750 for a complimentary 30 minute coaching session. Or email Joanie jw@joanwinberg.com if you prefer to use Skype


(Both of these coaches offer other programs for you in the Live Help Section of this website with a discounted if mentioning this site or using one of the links provided on this website.)



DASNM and Lillian Gottlieb, Certified Holistic Health Coach, are happy to offer you this free EBook in addition to the no cost half-hour telephone consultation with Lillian @ 917-572-6702 Or email her lillian@sassyzen.com to set up a Skype session. Please download and enjoy this E-Book as our gift to You! Sassy Zen is sure to inspire you! Blow the download you will find the contact information for Lillian.



sassy zen How to move on after divorce

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Originally posted 2014-06-24 14:33:36. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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