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Of course, going through a divorce is never easy at all. The knowledge that the person you once loved has officially left your life can be hard to deal with. The finality of divorce is hard to take, especially when adultery is involved. The hurt and betrayal can easily turn post-divorce life into a constant back and forth trying to “get even” with one another. Unless you decide to follow some important rules of etiquette.
While your ex is somebody who deserves no more of your time. Those just out of an incendiary relationship the hurt of being treated in such a way can turn even the nicest person into a vindictive individual. If you want to make sure that your post-divorce life does not go down this way, try and take some of the advice listed below. Hopefully, it will help you realize that despite the difficulty of the situation, there are certain ways to behave in the situation to stop it exasperating;
No Point Scoring!
I mentioned this above but getting into petty squabbles over irrelevant things is not going to help anybody. Bringing up the affair, any unmet expectations, or petty things just to make a good point in your argument, is just escalating the situation and not helping anything.
If they are keeping an argument going regarding why you got divorced or who did what when, they are acting like a child. Do not give them the satisfaction of seeing you revert you back to being a scorned teenager. You are better than that.
Keep Your Counsel
Emotions are probably the biggest difficulty dealing with any phase of divorce. It takes a strong person mentally to walk away from a divorce and not feel like you are losing your mind. If circumstances change then make sure you have a contingency plan. If you do not, speak with your closest friends and your legal team (if needed) to see what your options are.
Do not ever react to a change in circumstances on emotion – this has lost people thousands of dollars in the past and this will certainly not help you feel any better!
Think Of the Kids
If there are children involved, they do not need to become pawns on your chess board. Stop allowing your ex to bring them into the situation, and certainly make sure that you do not. The divorce has hurt your entire family, but there is no reason for children to be involved in any of the adult problems. Children should not have their illusions shattered about their parents, so don’t even go near that potential problem. They already have enough to deal with.
Dealing with an ex may not be easy, and neither is staying calm and composed, but it beats losing your cool and regretting going off the handle at your ex, and leaving you feeling worse than other. Good etiquette always trumps bad – fact.
Continue Learning Ideas on Good Etiquette
RiseWithMe.com has a wonderful article “Good Ex-etiquette can help Communication”
Here is a great book full of great ideas that can help
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