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Try this Today Series. Everyday application for healthy co-parenting. In earlier posts, I mentioned how I’m working hard toward making a daily choice to try to strengthen the bond between Ana Lu and her dad instead of allowing the toxic poison from the divorce seep into her innocent life. So I’m going to try this today. Maybe you can too.
*This also works well for married couples; a spouse on a business trip…a spouse working late…grandparents who live far away. A little something to help our children bridge any long-distance gap from aloved one.
Enjoy the Same Moon. “Mommy, remember, we looking at da same moon so when I blow a kiss up to da moon and it BLASTOFF! and it go up there, it spin around da moon and come back down and land on your cheek.”
Ana Lu’s petite arm shoots up as far as she can reach and then drops down. She leans in and kisses my cheek. “Like dat!”
A few weeks ago Charles told me that while he and Ana Lu walked into his house she looked up at the moon, blew a kiss up to it and told him, “That was for Mommy cuz I thinking bout her.”
This coming weekend she will be sleeping at Charles’ house and here she is mentioning the moon again.
We introduced the idea of blowing kisses to the moon over a year ago.
When Charles and I first decided to get divorced I had no idea how to explain our new family dynamic to Ana Lu.
I made the quintessential clueless parent maneuver; hopped on Amazon.com and scoured oodles of children’s books about divorce. I chose two books that I felt would cut the mustard in helping me teach Ana Lu about the new appearance of our family.
An excerpt from this book:
“Just like I have two feet, I have two homes. I am safe at home with my mom. I am safe at home with my dad. Sometimes I miss the one I’m not with. I thank my lucky stars for the phone. Even when we are apart, we can look out our windows and enjoy the same moon.” –Tamara Schmiz, Standing on My Own Two Feet
I’ve noticed Ana Lu periodically mentions blowing a kiss up to the moon; and when she does, I know her tender heart is working through the process of understanding and accepting that her two favorite people no longer live in the same house.
I marvel at her mindfulness – taking the piece of the story about the moon and placing it in her virtual toolbox for coping with divorce.
In hearing her recent interest in blowing kisses to the moon again, I find the books, read them again, and ask her if she has any questions.
She always does.
Next, I make a mental note:
1) This Friday night when Charles picks Ana Lu up remember to blow a kiss to the moon in front of her and tell her to look up at it when she gets to their house and feel my kiss come back from the moon and land on her cheek.
2) Call her Saturday night at Charles’ and tell her I am looking at the moon and sending another kiss up to her.
3) Text Charles later to check-in and ask him to please let her call/Skype me if she is talking about missing me.
What does this weekend look like for you and your little one?
Husband out of town?
Wife working late?
Divorced and other parent lives in a different house?
Grandparents live far away?
Take your little munchkin outside, look up at the moon and encourage your child to blow a kiss to their special loved one.
And if it’s not practical to go outside at bedtime, bring the moon into your child’s room.
That’s what I did.
Worth every penny.
Originally Posted | Mar 7, 2013 | at Sassy Single Mom (dot) Com
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Editors Note Here is another good book to share
“Parents looking for a book about separation or divorce will find few offerings as positive, matter-of-fact, or child-centered as this one. . . . Simple, yet profoundly satisfying. – BOOKLIST (starred review)
At Mommy’s house, Alex has a soft chair. At Daddy’s house, Alex has a rocking chair. In each home, Alex also has a special bedroom and lots of friends to play with. But whether Alex is with Mommy or with Daddy, one thing always stays the same – Alex is loved. The gently reassuring text focuses on what is gained rather than what is lost when parents divorce, while the sensitive illustrations, depicting two unique homes in all their small details, firmly establish Alex’s place in both of them. TWO HOMES will help children – and parents – embrace even the most difficult of changes with an open and optimistic heart.
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Originally posted 2013-09-23 12:25:50. Republished by Blog Post Promoter