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We’re always telling a story about what happened…what is happening and what will happen. Two or more people experiencing the same event are all going to tell a different story about it. Why? Because everyone notices different things…everyone interprets it differently…everyone is putting their own spin on it.
Someone may get fired from a job and sees it as a catastrophe…the end of the world as they know it…a disaster…and they begin to tell a really sad and scary story about how they were rejected…how they’re not good enough…how it’s not fair…how people have it in for them…the economy is so bad…they will never find another job… they’re going to be broke……. And the story can get worse and worse and worse…they’ll lose their home…they will go hungry…This is a terrible story…..
Another person gets fired from a job and…yes…they may feel bad…after all, if nothing else, it’s an unpleasant surprise. …And, yes… there may be that moment of panic…of confusion…a sense of loss and dislocation. They notice that same horrible story starting to play out in their heads…and they make a decision….NO! I am sooooo not going there! They make the choice to begin to tell a better and happier story. They make the choice to affirm that they live in an abundant Universe…that even in bad economic times, there are plenty of people making plenty of money…They begin to say to themselves, I am smart, energetic and resourceful…I’m going to find the good in this situation…I’m going to look for the opportunity…I’m going to find the silver lining in this dark cloud! I am going to triumph over this temporary adversity!
OK…well…..you are reading this post in a website about divorce. Are you really wondering how the above examples are relevant? Can you connect the dots? Are you telling yourself a story of betrayal…and loss…of disappointment…and loneliness…and rejection? Do you really want to fill your head with any number of other miserable and disempowering scenarios? Do you REALLY want to get stuck in that story? Isn’t it making you feel bad? If you want to experience yourself as a helpless victim of circumstance…then this story will keep you stuck there…maybe forever. Is that what you want?
Let’s try it this way: Yes…I was betrayed. Yes…I feel a sense of loss…Yes…I’m disappointed…and Yes…right now I’m feeling lonely and rejected. Do I want to believe this is the end of the road? Is it my desire to keep feeling these bad and sad emotions for the rest of my life? Do I really really really want to get stuck in this story? If the answer is “NO!”…then why not begin to consider the possibilities of a different point of view?
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Visit my FB page Sassy Zen
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