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Projection: Your Partner is Not a Mirror




Projection in relationships is one of the most common reasons of abusive relationships. This is a defense mechanism of most people that they are not aware of. Projection is what other people do in order to manage and cope with their feelings.

Psychological projection is about projecting your undesirable feelings to someone else instead of dealing with it yourself. When this is done in a relationship, it becomes an abusive one.

When Projection becomes Abusive

This abusive behavior is second nature to narcissists. If your partner is one, then tolerating this abuse will lead you nowhere. Projection or crazy making is one form of psychological abuse. This behavior is focused on making you feel bad in order to make you less credible and to shut you up. At the same time, this makes your abuser look calm and collect.

For the person on the receiving end of the projection, you will have a distorted view of what is real and what is not. Staying in this relationship will not be healthy for you physically, mentally and emotionally.

Projection: is Your Partner doing it?

If your partner is projecting to you, then you must determine it right away. Knowing the different ways of how projection is done will allow you identify if your partner is doing it.

People who project only see things in black and white; for them, there is no gray area. They will not be willing to compromise and would insist doing and seeing things his way. Being in this type of abusive relationships is not healthy since you will be required to sacrifice your needs.

At times, people doing projection are passive aggressive. They will keep quiet and hope that you will find ways to understand them. There would be times when they would subtly sabotaging the things you enjoy with a sarcastic remark.

The most common sign of an abuser is that they will say that you have said something, but you actually didn’t. They will tell you that you did something you really did not. They would tend to shy away from the topic at hand by bringing something that you did years or months ago just to make you feel guilty.  This is the telltale sign of projection.

If you are in a relationship where you always feel guilty, or you feel held up and you feel like there is no way that you can express yourself; then you are probably a victim of projection.

Healing From Abuse: How to Cope with Projection

The best way to deal with projection is to let go of the need to gain the approval and validation of your partner. Live your life after abuse by building up your self-esteem and understanding your self-worth. When you have yourself as an ally, no one will be able to abuse you again.


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Click here to read Part 1 – Learn Some Basics About Abuse

Part 2 – Ways to Cope With Leaving a Narcissistic Relationship

Here is the link to Part 3 – Stop the Abuse by Breaking the Cycle of Violence

Part 4 – Discovering Your Lost Self: Bye Bye Co-Dependency!

To see Part 5 – Life after Abuse: Talk Yourself Out of Verbal Abuse click here

Part 6 – Things You Should Know about Hoovers and Hoovering


If you’re feeling hopeless, HOPE is just a phone call away. No matter what problems you are struggling with, hurting yourself isn’t the answer. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is here to help. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7. For Hearing & Speech Impaired with TTY Equipment: 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)


If you are in a relationship that is violent, and remember violence is not just physical but also mental and emotional, then seek help when you are able. Seek out local resources in your area such as the Domestic Abuse Shelter. The most dangerous time for a the victim in a violent relationship is when they try to leave. It is scary, but there are people who can help. The Hotline is a national domestic violence help line. Their number is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or the Victim Center at 1-800-394-2255.


Domestic Abuse Helpline Services for Men and Women
24-hour hotline operated by staff and trained volunteers to offer information and crisis intervention to victims of domestic violence. They provide information about the issues concerning intimate partner violence. Referrals to community resources. Resource directory for the country including where to find (if available) “male victim friendly” resources in your area. Assistance in filing protection from abuse orders (where available).

Crisis Hotline: 1-888-7HELPLINE (1-888-743-5754)


Thanks You for reading this article. DASNM has two complimentary gifts for you. First a 30 minute coaching session with Joanie contact information below. Keep Scrolling and download your Sassy Zen Ebook:


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Hello my name is Lillian. I’m the artist and creator of the Sassy Zen cards. I am also a Certified Holistic Health Coach, a Certified Vision Board Coach, with over 30 years of consulting experience. A Sassy Zen 20 min. 1 question reading reviews your past, identifies exactly where you are now, and offers guidance on how to best move forward toward a successful future. This is not just a reading… but an outstanding service… helping you to find your ultimate success!


Sassy Zen is a lighthearted philosophy with a profound, yet upbeat and optimistic way of interpreting events and issues in your life. Sassy Zen seeks to create balance and clarity by connecting you with your own inner wisdom, so that you can find the easiest way over, under, or around any perceived obstacles that may be getting in the way of fulfilling your dreams



Sassy Zen is a lighthearted philosophy with a profound, yet upbeat and optimistic way of interpreting events and issues in your life. Sassy Zen seeks to create balance and clarity by connecting you with your own inner wisdom, so that you can find the easiest way over, under, or around any perceived obstacles that may be getting in the way of fulfilling your dreams

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Originally posted 2014-03-19 10:10:55. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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