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Two’s Company, Three’s a Crowd: Avoiding Triangulation in Your Future Relationships


hands on faceAbusive relationships leave our self-esteem debilitated. People who have experienced abuse in their previous relationships have become paralyzed with fear– fear of not being able to love again, fear of not being loved again and that fear of experiencing failure in their future relationships.

You may currently be healing from abuse, and you think that it may still be too early to enter into a new relationship, and you are right. However, there is nothing too early about learning and understanding the things that lead your previous relationship to failure.

For those people who have already processed, coped and healed find themselves looking forward to life after abuse, understanding the reason behind their previous failed relationship will help them prevent the same thing from happening again.

Most often, relationships end because of the existence of triangulation in them.

What is Triangulation?

Triangulation is actually a clinical term, used to denote the dysfunctional relationship device that most people use when they are experiencing stress or tension in their relationships. This device is used to ease tension by diverting attention to something or someone else. Oftentimes, people in relationships encounter a conflict, and when they do, they do not deal with it head on. Instead, they would be drawing in a third party to divert the tension that they are experiencing in the relationship. Or possibly plays the third person against one that he or she is upset with. One other way triangulation can be used involves creating a situation where two people do not relate directly to each other, but mostly communicate via the abuser.

Importance of Recognizing Triangulation in Relationships

It is very vital that you recognize the potential for triangulation you and your partner may have. This is necessary in order to avoid being in this abusive state. If the triangulation already does exist, then spotting it earlier will help you work out various ways on how to DE-triangulate.

Keep in mind that having extra marital affairs is not the only way to triangulate in a relationship. Triangulation can be as simple as talking to a friend about the issues you and your partner may have or just simply focusing your attention on other people instead of working with your partner in clearing out issues.

Avoiding Triangulation in Your Next Relationships

The first thing you need to do to avoid triangulation in your current or future relationships is by addressing the existing conflict with the help of the person involved. It is best that you open up your concerns directly to the person who is responsible for what you felt. It is highly recommended that you avoid drawing other people in a place where they should not be. After all, no conflict will ever be resolved if it is not recognized by both of the people involved.

In the event you find it is difficult for you to directly talk about the conflict with your partner, then it is best that you evaluate yourself. What makes you anxious in doing so? What would be the worst thing that could happen if you do so? And of course, there is one question that you already know the answer to–. Is my fear far more important than saving this relationship?

Triangulation in relationships, when left unattended, will surely be the cause of a painful relationship. If you wish to finally have the partnership that you most wanted, you should also take responsibility in establishing one.



Click here to read Part 1 – Learn Some Basics About Abuse

Part 2 – Ways to Cope With Leaving a Narcissistic Relationship

Here is the link to Part 3 – Stop the Abuse by Breaking the Cycle of Violence

Part 4 – Discovering Your Lost Self: Bye Bye Co-Dependency!

To see Part 5 – Life after Abuse: Talk Yourself Out of Verbal Abuse click here

Part 6 – Things You Should Know about Hoovers and Hoovering

For Part 7 – Projection: Your Partner is Not a Mirror

Try this click and see Part 8 – Avoid the Sociopathic Games



If you’re feeling hopeless, HOPE is just a phone call away. No matter what problems you are struggling with, hurting yourself isn’t the answer. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is here to help. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7. For Hearing & Speech Impaired with TTY Equipment: 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)


If you are in a relationship that is violent, and remember violence is not just physical but also mental and emotional, then seek help when you are able. Seek out local resources in your area such as the Domestic Abuse Shelter. The most dangerous time for a the victim in a violent relationship is when they try to leave. It is scary, but there are people who can help. The Hotline is a national domestic violence help line. Their number is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or the Victim Center at 1-800-394-2255.


Domestic Abuse Helpline Services for Men and Women
24-hour hotline operated by staff and trained volunteers to offer information and crisis intervention to victims of domestic violence. They provide information about the issues concerning intimate partner violence. Referrals to community resources. Resource directory for the country including where to find (if available) “male victim friendly” resources in your area. Assistance in filing protection from abuse orders (where available).

Crisis Hotline: 1-888-7HELPLINE (1-888-743-5754)



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Hello my name is Lillian. I’m the artist and creator of the Sassy Zen cards. I am also a Certified Holistic Health Coach, a Certified Vision Board Coach, with over 30 years of consulting experience. A Sassy Zen 20 min. 1 question reading reviews your past, identifies exactly where you are now, and offers guidance on how to best move forward toward a successful future. This is not just a reading… but an outstanding service… helping you to find your ultimate success!


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Sassy Zen is a lighthearted philosophy with a profound, yet upbeat and optimistic way of interpreting events and issues in your life. Sassy Zen seeks to create balance and clarity by connecting you with your own inner wisdom, so that you can find the easiest way over, under, or around any perceived obstacles that may be getting in the way of fulfilling your dreams

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Originally posted 2014-04-21 10:25:20. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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