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Infidelity is one of the worst things that you can ever do to your partner – so why do so many actually commit such a crime? In our previous article we spoke about what infidelity actually is. Today, we want to concentrate on what the biggest reasons are for each gender. What are the most common excuses given for cheating? Also, what kind of impact can it have on a divorce proceeding and beyond?
If you have previously been involved in cheating in the past, whether you were the one cheating or the hurt party, then you will immediately know the process. The hours of guilt and working out why it happened, the lack of confidence thereafter, everything that can possibly affect you will. It’s about finding the solution and if you can face them the answers to why your relationship broke down.
Getting closure is one of the only ways that we can genuinely move on from being cheated on – and finding out why it happened is usually a good place to get started. You might not like the answer you receive, but it might give you something to work from.
Why do men cheat?
According to a study hosted by StatisticBrain.com, 57% of men admit that they have at one stage committed infidelity, emotional or physical, in a relationship at one stage in their lives. Theories range wildly from case to case as to what these cases are, but more than half of the population asked by the survey admitted they had strayed.
Many men are inspired by male celebrities like sports stars. They see something in there that they would love to have – the fame, the fortune and the power. Unfortunately, while their exploits in their profession is worth admiration, some of these inspirations activities behind closed doors are less so. Some men are genuinely “inspired” by the acts of the male celebrities they adore so much. Trying to mimic the lifestyle of those they wish to emulate is quite a common choice.
Males are also more open about the lack of sexual satisfaction in a relationship. As the old saying goes, men have two brains – one upstairs, one down. A lack of sexual stimulation and impetus back home can cause infidelity to occur quite easily for some males, and the nearest hint of being able to relieve this urge elsewhere will be taken.
Does this sound like your own experiences?
With the average length of an affair being around two years, it’s more common for women to enter into longer term affairs. Men tend to struggle to keep either the excitement or the pressure of the adultery going for as long as this. Women, however, tend to be looking for something a little different from typical male cheaters.
Women tend to be looking for emotional stimulation, not just sexual. This is not to say women have affairs just for the company and the compatibility – but it can be a bigger motivation. Many women are desperate to get married and have that type of lifestyle, but a lack of connection down the line with their husband can lead to them going elsewhere to get the “fix” they need.
Males can easily become consumed in work and other parts of their lives, leaving their female companion feeling alone and unwanted. This is seen as the most common reason that women seek an affair.
Does this sound like a familiar tune to you? Does it ring true at all with any of the feelings you may have had? Does this sound like an explanation for your other halves infidelity?
A Love Affair
While many affairs are crimes of passion, not love, it can be a difficult decision to accept. Knowing that the person you are with chose somebody else to be their partner, even once, can be a heart-breaking thing to learn. Do affairs regularly lead to happily-ever-after scenes for the couple who cheat, or is it always going to end the same way for them?
History suggests that most cheaters will do so again – it’s simply their nature. There are even some, rather crazy, suggestions out there that adultery is in fact a sign of love! This article in the Times of India is a great place to read more about this bizarre theory.
So if you are still smarting over the hurt and pain somebody caused you, it might help you to know that in the future they are very likely to receive a taste of their own medicine. Small victories like that will help some people move onto a better, more productive life afterwards.
How does infidelity impact those who get divorced and what are their unique challenges? (Reference: HuffingtonPost.com)
Purely from a legal standpoint, adultery can cause significant problems in a divorce. Divorce is never a nice process and can become a long and bitter battle for what each half believe is theirs. Especially after poisonous acts like cheating are carried out, dealing with this amicably can be a difficult process.
It can have a serious impact on the distribution of assets in the event of a divorce, provided proof can be shown that marital assets were used in the divorce. If, for example, the cheating party was found to be using joint marital asset funds to support their affair, this could be construed in a legal environment.
So it’s not only hearts and minds that are affected by adultery – it is bank accounts too. However, there are emotional challenges that must be dealt with when dealing with infidelity, and unique challenges come through every single day from it.
Trying to deal with moving possessions in a civil manner right down to children visitation times can become a huge ordeal. With such a difficult situation for both parties to move forward from, divorce cases can become long and expensive procedures. If you are to get involved in a legal battle after separation, cutting ties as best as you can as quickly as possible is always the best way to do so.
Get them out of your life and start to prepare for a brighter future without the rat in the room. It’s the only way you can move on from the situation – a ten year court battle is going to stall your personal and professional life like you would never believe. Don’t let the damage of adultery take your life over for any longer than it has!
Moving forward from a dark period in your life is obviously tough, but it’s easier once you get some genuine closer. Most of us just want to know “Why?” this happened, and we can help you find the answers.
As a Thank You for reading the article DASNM has a TWO complimentary 30 minute coaching session just for you one from Joanie and the other is from Lillian. Below you will find the contact information for both of our Certified Coaches. Additionally download your free Sassy Zen EBook today (link below). Divorce Support is just a phone call away!
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Are any of the following concerns keeping you awake at night?
– Will I always feel this lonely?- I feel stuck. I need help setting goals for my new life.- How do I deal with stress and the feeling of being overwhelmed as a single parent on a daily basis?
– Dating again? How do I get started and attract the “love of my life”?
If any of the concerns above are keeping you awake at night, then call Joanie Winberg, a Divorce Mentor directly @ 508-947-2750 for a complimentary 30 minute coaching session. Or email Joanie email@example.com if you prefer to use Skype
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