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What Counts as Cheating?



shadow of couple



Cheating is difficult to define.  In a really broad sense, cheating includes betraying a partner’s expectations about the type of contact allowed with others. When a partner, breaks one’s expectations about exactly what is appropriate, individuals feel betrayed. Relationships are not based on logic; however, they are influenced by our feelings. Cheating is complex because the meaning varies so extremely. However, when someone violates a partner’s expectations, the emotional outcome coincides, and one of the partners feels betrayed and rejected.


It is vital in a healthy, committed relationship is to have a clear understanding from the beginning exactly what is thought about cheating. Possibly the most practical details for this determination are specifying the various kinds of cheating, then discussing with your partner where you both draw the line.


Lots of people purposefully choose not to specify what counts as cheating since by keeping the lines vague and uncertain, it makes it much easier to cheat if they choose to. If you have no idea what the policies are, you really can’t break them, or so individuals like to think. It is much easier to trick one’s self, and a partner about cheating, when the lines are unclear.


There are two primary kinds of cheating which are emotional and physical. Physical cheating is the easiest to identify and classify while those who are cheating emotionally might not even realize it at first. Of the two types, it is difficult to determine which is more damaging to a relationship. Personally, I think it is the emotional affair. You’re seeking something deeper in another person, than your current partner. What you are looking for is something deeper than sex and usually sharing your core. Emotional affairs very often lead to physical. Both types of affairs are a betrayal of trust, and the damage ultimately is the same devastation..


Physical cheating isn’t just having sexual intercourse with somebody other than your partner. This is doing anything physical with somebody other than your partner that should be reserved for a partner alone. Relying on the boundaries in the specific relationship, this can mean caressing, kissing, holding, incorrect touching, and so on up to and consisting of intercourse.


Emotional cheating is much more challenging to recognize even for the individual committing it, much less a person observing. Offering your time and emotions to somebody outside of the relationship is robbing your partner of something that is rightly theirs and theirs alone. With the rise of the internet, emotional cheating has actually become much simpler, acceptable and much more prevalent than in years past. Physical contact may never occur, in truth a lot of people who have cheated mentally have actually never been near the object of their cheating, and some may not even know what the person even looks like.


Another type of cheating that is often not discussed is virtual cheating. Personally I do view this as cheating whereas many do not. In this type, numerous individuals join online talking and revealing internet cam sessions as absolutely nothing even more than indulging in pornography.


Accordingly, cheating is hard to specify because people vary in the kind of contact they feel it is proper for a partner to have with someone else.


For instance, some people believe that it is unacceptable for a partner to:

•     Flirt with others.

•     Engage in sexual talk with another person.

•     Exchange personal chats, e-mails or message.

•     Become emotionally involved with someone else (emotional unfaithfulness).

•     Deny being married or in a relationship.

•     Hang around with individuals of the opposite sex.

•     Have sexual contact with someone else

•     A crush for a person other than your partner.

•     Share their most private thoughts and feelings with another person.

•     Become best pals with someone of the opposite sex.

•     And the list can go on and on…


The main point is that people vary regarding what they think to be an appropriate form of contact with other people. In any relationship, exactly what one individual thinks acceptable might vary from exactly what a partner thinks is suitable. Numerous troubles emerge in relationships since individuals do not see eye-to-eye on this problem. Committing to a relationship, living your life with someone other than your partner in mind is probably cheating, and your partner will probably feel betrayed.


Take the time now and get a clear understanding of your boundaries.  Make sure to discuss them with your partner and find out what theirs are.  While reviewing one anothers boundaries and how cheating is defined, take the time to negotiate what the relationship boundaries will be.  Relationships need to be protected and nurtured.  This is one area that must be very clear and no assumptions made.


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Originally posted 2013-09-14 08:31:00. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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