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Most people have a tendency to let their mistakes define them yet most experts say to embrace and learn from them.
You may think the breakup was entirely your partner’s fault (which is not always the case, even when an extra-marital affair took place); but either way, there are still things to learn from the experience. In some cases, we punish ourselves for our partner’s mistakes by putting up walls around us so nobody can hurt us again. Before you use this tactic, ask yourself what kind of person was your partner, and what would you have changed in him or her and also in yourself if you had a magic wand? Then, use what you found out to go after your perfect mate – you deserve it! Shoot for the starts! Use this knowledge to grow, increase your confidence, boost self-esteem, and improve the success rate of future relationships.
For better or worse, you now have a “do over”. This may now be the time to look at your life this way, the divorce is finalized, and you now will have to come to terms with reality. After the pain hurts less and you know you can be honest, really honest with what caused the breakup; you can take a closer look and make improvements within yourself. You are also given the chance to be a little pickier in the next relationship.
BUT, do not meet the next person and make a mental list about all the things you can change in THEM, or draw a line in the sand that THEY must change to meet your demands. Best tip of the day: Relationships are not about shaping and molding the other person into your ideal partner. Relationships are about finding that person who you TOTALLY accept as is and they accept YOU as is.
This is the time to learn from your present situation. What was it about your ex that you just could not accept and it was causing a major problem in your relationship. The same goes for your ex; just what was it about you that drove him or her crazy (in a bad way) and you tried to change for them but deep down you couldn’t because it was not who you are. Take some time to look closely at what you need and desire in another person. By identifying this first, you will have a greater chance at making the next relationship, the perfect relationship.
Another important tip is for you to drop your ego, because egos just get in the way. It is much better to take responsibility for your actions, past and future. This is true, even if you believe that you did all you could to be the perfect spouse and yet were dropped hot for someone else! The truth is it takes two to tango and it is OKAY to accept yourself and others with all the faults that come by being human. Always remember, one person’s trash can always end up another person’s treasure!
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Originally posted 2012-12-07 07:30:23. Republished by Blog Post Promoter