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I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar? (I Need a Man!)



by Gretchen Schiller


I am woman, hear me roar…


No shit, right?

I was just as horrified as you were when that echoed through my mind. But it did. So here I am throwing it out there in case you Pretty Mamas have felt the same on occasion.

In Helen Reddy’s infamous song, “I Am Woman,” we can all agree that the context of her lyrics preached the opposite; women do not need men.




Here’s the deal. I’m tired of the conviction, “I’m a strong woman, I can do everything.”

Ya know what? No, I cant. Not today. I just can’t swing it all the time. Some days, I kick ass and feel all “I am woman, hear me roar” in respect to Ms. Reddy’s encouragement. And I bounce around all day humming Pink’s lyrics, “I’m still a rock star, I got my rock moves…!”

But today, no. Today I only roar that I need a man.

I’m exhausted. I see the leaky faucet and it’s annoying the crap out of me. It’s driving me so insane that it might as well be dripping on my forehead as a form of Chinese Water Torture.

I love my girlfriends and they’re a fantastic support network but the reality is they are not going to… fix the leaky faucet, take out the trash, help paint, change the oil in the car, set up the wireless router, hang a curtain rod, assemble a desk, help chill me out when I’m a nervous spaz after I post a new blog piece, give me an “I appreciate you” slap on the ass when I get up from the sofa (yeah, I said it), have an adult conversation over dinner, tell Ana Lu in a stern voice “listen to your mother” during the actual act of disobedience, reassure me that everything will be alright, tell me “Wow, Gretchen, you look hot tonight,” pick up a bottle of wine on the way home (oops, I mean milk), give me a goodnight kiss from a warm body that I’m snuggled into, because hugging my pillow for two and half years is getting old. I’m ready to switch out my soft pillow for a prickly 5 o’clock shadow!

Today I throw my arms up and scream, “I need a man!”

Oh, and most importantly, I need him to kill a damn spider.

I’m sure many are thinking, it’s not a “need” but perhaps a “want.” But today trying to decipher between the two feels like a ridiculous game of splitting hairs. A) I need help. B) I need it in my home. C) I’m heterosexual. A+B +C = I need a man.

One could argue live-in help can come in many forms like a parent, an au pair, etc. Don’t go there. I’m cranky. I’m exhausted, remember? I don’t need an au pair or a parent, it’s a man I need. I don’t need another date. Been on a dozen without luck. I’m tired of dating. I need a man. Plus, both an au pair and my mom would only be available for a finite period of time. And it’d be downright awkward if either of them slapped my ass.

So fellow single moms and Ms. Reddy, I hope I didn’t disappoint you…“I am a woman, hear me roar”…I am independent, thoughtful, kind, confident (well, kinda), intelligent, self-sufficient, wise…“I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman.”

I DON’T need a man. I don’t.

But today I do. And I will not feel ashamed for that.

Desperate? Pathetic?

I don’t think so.

Just TODAY I really want that effin’ spider in my bathroom dead.

And this blog kicks off the pre-Valentine’s Dating Series. Stay tuned!


Gretchen signature


Originally Posted Jan 17, 2013 at Sassy Single Mom (dot) Com

A supportive community for healthy co-parenting and motherhood ups, downs, and are you freakin’ kidding me?!


You can follow me on twitter @GretSchiller and Facebook Sassy Single Mom (dot) Com


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Originally posted 2013-09-17 08:14:28. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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