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Mistakes to Avoid After the Breakup

Stop Sign divorce helpline

 

There are several things that people do after a breakup that end up worsening an already complicated issue. Listed below are mistakes to avoid after the breakup.

 

They are completely ineffective and only make matters worse for you! Please avoid them at all cost!

 

1. Blaming Yourself – It really doesn’t matter if you did or did not initiate the divorce. Both of you had a part in some way, and history cannot be changed. The main thing you can change is your future. If you think you did something wrong, teach yourself how not to make the same mistake again.

 

2. Isolating Yourself – Isolating yourself will postpone your healing and recovery. At first is may feel odd getting out by yourself and not a half of a couple but the sooner you start the sooner this will feel perfectly fine to you.

 

3. Engaging in Self-Indulgent Habits like Smoking and Drinking Binges – You already feel bad enough do you really want to add a hangover, not being able to breathe and all kinds of other problems to your situation?

 

4. Running After Your Ex and Begging for Another Chance – The only thing I can think of that is worse than a break up is being with someone that does not truly want to be with you. It may hurt not be with them, but once again these actions will delay the healing process and admit it you know even if they do “give” you another chance they will most likely end the relationship again.

 

5. Hating Your Ex – Most everyone even the ones that initiated the divorce at one time or another have a negative feeling toward their ex. I am not saying for them to be your friend. But, in order to be truly free you must let go of hatred and anger. This is an action you are doing for yourself.

 

6. Jumping into a Relationship Just, so you are Not Alone – A relationship to prevent loneliness will never work. Take time while you heal and find out just what wonderful company you do make for yourself. Stay busy get out and join your church functions, volunteer, or a meetup.com group. Go out into your community and find a group to do things with and if you don’t find one start one.

 

7. Making Life-Altering Decisions too Soon – You are not in a race with your ex to see who can do what first. Let them run the race all by themselves remember they are not your concern any longer. Take your time and when you are not so emotionally raw then make decisions about any life altering actions.

 

8. Pretending to be Someone You Aren’t – Just like a flower needs time to open its pedal, you need time to take time to develop the new you. Many of your friends may mean well and tell you where you need to go, what you need to wear, and the list will go on and on. Those things may be great for others but don’t be what others expect you to be. Take pride in nurturing the real you to shine through and turn your ears off when “Mr. or Ms. know it alls” start talking.

 

9. Do Not Sleep With an Ex – Remember an ex is an ex for some reason, and they are a person from your past. At first you may think it is someone you know that can help you through your feeling. That won’t really happen, and it will just become an icky sticky mess that will end up hurting you more. Keep in mind this includes the relationship that just ended.

 

10. Telling Everyone You’re OK – Telling people you have moved on, and you put the divorce behind you, when you are really still hurting. Is just another form of isolation but instead of your home being your prison it is your mind. This action will make you more lonely than you could ever imagine; while you are standing in a room full of your friends and family.

 

Keep the fond memories of the relationship, but try to put your rage or sadness behind you.

 

Now is the time to take care of yourself and just have fun on your own.

 

You’ll be surprised by how strong you are!!!!!

 

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16 thoughts on “Mistakes to Avoid After the Breakup

  1. All those are so very true, but also can be hard to at times, I think my biggest problem is isolating myself and asking all those what if questions.. In some ways I think I am afraid of finding happiness after divorce is there life after divorce really???? I know the isolation is causing me to feel loneliness after divorced and depression. It is preventing me from finding happiness after divorce and rebuilding your life after divorce. But just how to start dating after divorce??????

  2. I did the same thing then very quickly got depressed after divorce. Because I was sad and lonely after divorce, I took my ex back and that lasted only a few months till he found another person. When that happened, I went out joined a gym, signed up for meetup.com groups (this is not a dating site), got more involved in my church and made sure I had at least one thing each day to look forward to!

    • I have done the same thing have went out and joined the YMCA and got my daughter signed up to go as well. these activities do help with how to get over divorce depression, loneliness after divorce, reduce suicide after divorce
      depressed feelings and helps with moving on after divorce

      Its time to focus on me now and doing what I enjoy. Plus going to the gym has many other benefits – getting back in shape – losing some weight again – and it relieves all the stress I deal with from my job.. 🙂

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