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With the loss of any long-term relationship, there will be things you begin to miss. Things like, a nice strong or loving hug from someone of the opposite sex, a smile when they see you walking up, and the list goes on and on. Fortunately right after my divorce, a good friend came up and said “guard yourself against becoming ripe for the picking.” I had no idea what he meant, so he explained there are people out there that will see that you are vulnerable and try to take advantage of the situation. He warned me that everyone goes through it, and I needed to be able to self identify when I was starting to feel vulnerable. Thanks to his advice, I only experienced a couple of times when I didn’t catch it before I was in an uncomfortable dating situation.
I use these two techniques so I can avoid from becoming “ripe for the picking.” When I start feeling lonely or when I miss those little things you have in a relationship, I involve myself more in my Christian social group. It is nice to have a group of friends where you can go out and have fun yet not have any relationship expectations. Plus, they accept me even with no make-up on!
When I spend time with the men in my group, they great me with a big smile as I walk up to them followed by a nice big bear hug. I think, they miss those little things too. The second thing I do is to put a halt to dating. If you continue searching for that someone special, the feelings are only intensified and very often you are dating the wrong type of person.
Following these two little tips will get you through the vulnerability stage and onto the perspicacious dater stage!
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