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Divorced Parents and Christmas with Children
The first thing you should know is that you are not the only one spending the holidays alone. Christmas and other seasonal holidays can be difficult if you are newly divorced. It can be tougher when there are children involved. It is tough but do-able. Separated families often feel that someone else is having a better Christmas than them. This is not true. They may also feel distressed worrying about their children especially if they are spending the Christmas with the other partner. There is very little that can be done by the non–resident parents if the resident parent doesn’t grant access to the children over the holidays. In these circumstances, there are a number of workable solutions. For example, you could celebrate Christmas with your children on Boxing Day (December 26th).
Given below are some of the tools and tips that can help you have the best of Christmas with children during or after divorce:
• Make Long term plans. It is a great idea to create a rota system and work out in advance who will have the children when. It is beneficial for both the parents and children to have a flexible and workable schedule. This is especially true when it comes to holidays. It is only fair that each parent takes turns to have the child during the holiday season. It is a great idea to look at this in advance. Many parents plan next year’s Christmas plans early so that each of the parents understands where they stand in the scheme of things.
• It may be a good idea to include both the sets of grandparents in the schedule. Seeing a grandparent could be the most comforting thing for a child. It may also help if you plan the rota well in advance so that both sets of grandparents have the opportunity to be with the children especially during holidays.
• Create new family traditions and rituals. While many would like to hold on to the old family rituals and traditions, it may not be logical for the family to be able to complete them. It may be a great idea to redo Christmas the new way, create new and more meaningful traditions that can be fulfilled by either parent.
• One of the most important things one must do as a single or separated parent is to reassure the children that the holiday celebrations will continue albeit in a different way. Allow your children to help out and pitch in with new and creative ideas for rituals so they can feel part of the celebration.
• Ask for help from family and friends. Ensure that you have a good and reliable support system in place for when you feel lonely, depressed or isolated. In case of an issue, ask for the help you need from them.
This is the time for you to be realistic about the holiday season. It is important to have realistic expectations from the holidays rather than live with the illusion of the perfect holiday. There is no perfect family or perfect holiday, don’t beat yourself up trying to attain an impossible goal. Taking care of yourself is the best gift you can give your children. Remember that they learn from your actions make sure to schedule adequate time for relaxation, rest and nurturing.
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Originally posted 2013-12-15 11:13:54. Republished by Blog Post Promoter