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I have spent years counseling and watching the incredible struggle people find themselves in as the unexpected hits them in the form of a divorce. The loss of the dream they had when they committed to marrying is beyond words, yet very real. There is a knee- jerk reaction of going into denial and blame which includes them and yourself. Yet none of this will change what is going on. With time you will see If You Truly Heal There is an Amazing Life to be Lived!!
The breakdown of a marriage can be compared to having an accident and breaking one or more body parts. There is shock and dismay to find yourself sidelined. You wonder how it happened and then start in on all of the “what-if’s”. This changes nothing. Sooner or later one must focus on healing their broken body. The sooner this is done the better. The doctor sets the body in order and says with time and proper rehab you will be fine. The caregiver is correct, although you can hardly believe for recovery since all you can feel is pain and probably have serious difficulty getting around. But in time, just as the doctor stated, with time and therapy you are better than ever. If you try to take a shortcut and become your own doctor or you ignore the advice and the pathway to healing mapped out for you, there is a good chance you will not fully recover.
Becoming your own divorce recovery doctor can lead to denying yourself the support you may receive from truly dedicated people who have something to offer you and who desire to aid your progress in significant ways. Instead of being made complete well again, many live with an emotional limp that hinders complete enjoyment of the good things in life. Dragging the past around slows progress and is a constant deterrent to well-being.
It is time to heal because there is an amazing life waiting for you. To heal the broken parts it is vital to go to a trusted counselor who like a doctor will help set the broken areas in order and then time you sense your strength coming back along with hope and a view there is a brighter day quickly coming. The areas that have been damaged are fixable, but it is critical to stay in counseling as well as seek positive friends and family to be around. To rip off the scab on your heart by constantly revisiting the past is deadly and only produces ongoing pain. The goal here is to learn from the past and become a better you going forward. Note: don’t jump into another relationship until you are really healed it usually takes a year.
Here is the truth. You have an incredible life live ONLY if you believe it. If you think you must be in a relationship all the time, to be ok then you are selling yourself so short. First, really take the time to become well. Then you can envision your best “new life”, the one you want to now enjoy and start moving towards it. As you take these steps of wholeness, that life will also start moving towards you. Who you are becoming is attracting the same things to you. Believe in yourself. You are an amazing individual, and there is no other like you. Love yourself into wellness and start living with hope for a bright future. No more looking over your shoulder or thinking about what should have or could have been. No one can go back. The only thing to do is take steps toward recovery today. Decide to live this day in forward motion. By this time next year you can be in a completely new and better place!
If this is of value, I wrote a short eBook called Divorce Blues Recovery
with 10 tips or insights that I believe are life changing and will help you
go forward to life you yearn to enjoy. The link is
I encourage you to learn from the past and let it make you a better you.
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Originally posted 2013-03-07 13:51:56. Republished by Blog Post Promoter